|
Post by auntym on May 10, 2021 16:50:16 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on May 20, 2021 12:53:59 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on May 24, 2021 10:56:50 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on May 25, 2021 8:11:33 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on May 28, 2021 13:25:53 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Jun 5, 2021 14:29:26 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Jul 1, 2021 13:59:16 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Jul 17, 2021 16:06:51 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Jul 23, 2021 6:38:53 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Aug 9, 2021 16:58:40 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Aug 11, 2021 14:09:51 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Aug 22, 2021 10:25:28 GMT -6
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."
8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!".
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was 'Always'.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!".
Can't you just hear him say all of these? These were the good old days when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word or be political. It was just clean and simple fun. And Red always ended his programs with the words, "And May God Bless" with a big smile on his face.
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Aug 23, 2021 9:07:34 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Aug 24, 2021 1:00:45 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Oct 5, 2021 13:43:07 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Oct 12, 2021 10:28:23 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Dec 22, 2021 11:57:32 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Dec 30, 2021 11:04:16 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Jan 19, 2022 10:49:21 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Feb 2, 2022 14:00:49 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Feb 2, 2022 22:16:22 GMT -6
i hate when this happens...i enjoyed his cartoons & posted many of them here... damn...
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Feb 4, 2022 21:24:38 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Feb 9, 2022 14:30:12 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by auntym on Feb 11, 2022 15:50:47 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Feb 13, 2022 18:56:59 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Feb 14, 2022 16:11:13 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Mar 28, 2022 17:12:17 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by jcurio on Apr 1, 2022 7:29:55 GMT -6
Then, may I suggest, he work on the obvious lack of force behind his open hand clap? (Oops… I mean … slap)
🤔🤪
I apologize. Stopping by for an edit. I really thought the slap by Will Smith was a part of the “joke”. My mistake.
I am sorry that Chris Rock got slapped. I hope that this doesn’t become the norm for people that try to make lifes circumstances funny
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Apr 10, 2022 8:27:39 GMT -6
|
|
|
Post by swamprat on Apr 20, 2022 8:42:20 GMT -6
Ponderables....
When you are bored just think about a few things that don't make sense - like;
1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?
3. Do twins ever realize that one of them is unplanned?
4. Why is the letter W, in English, called double U? Shouldn't it be called double V?
5. Maybe oxygen is slowly killing you and It just takes 75-100 years to fully work.
6. Every time you clean something, you just make something else dirty.
7. The word "swims" upside-down is still "swims"
8. 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
9. If you replace "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", you get the answer to each of them.
Great confusions are still unresolved
1. At a movie theatre, which armrest is yours?
2. If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
3. Why is there a 'D' in the fridge, but not in the refrigerator?
4. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made
And now...
Vagaries of English Language.....
- Why isn't a Fireman called a Water-man?
- Why does Lipstick not do what it says?
- If money doesn't grow on trees, why do Banks have Branches?
- If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?
- How do you get off a non-stop Flight?
- Why are goods sent by a ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?
- Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?
- Why do doctors 'practice' medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?
- Why is it called 'Rush Hour' when traffic moves at its slowest then?
- Why do Noses run and Feet smell?
We can never find the answers, can we?
So just enjoy the pun and fun of the English language!!
|
|