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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2013 18:28:49 GMT -6
You have a quest. IMO: the grays are all about the journey and the intensity generated by the journey; not the places along the way, nor about achieving a goal. They seem to want to keep the pressure on, in order to keep us thinking and growing as fast as possible. Evolution happens in response to stresses. "Her first memory was of her and I helping the greys by taking people to them." -- This is a big question which I have considered. Randy mentioned doing this. What role do we play when we are in their dimensional space (which our minds can only vaguely remember)? "She wanted to remember more so I told her about the hypnotherapist. I called and spoke to her about my friend. She asked if we had talked about reincarnation. I was mystified and asked her why in the world would the greys have anything to do with reincarnation. She said that they follow certain people that way." -- Whitley Streiber wrote that they once told him that they were the "Recyclers of Souls". There is a fair number of cases which indicate that they recognize souls across many lifetimes and that they are able to work to souls on the other side (ghosts between lifetimes) easier than they work with us. Many here have seen possible futures and yet as you have ascertained, we are not predestined to a specific outcome. However, we must be very energetically aware and hyper-vigilant in order to step out of the groove which we are following. Many here have also had other strange paranormal things in our lives. Makes it hard. Yet, could we live happily in the mundane boring reality that others seem to be trapped in. Personally, I could not. My reality is continually shifting and evolving. I feel that I am continually dismissing one illusion after another. Beliefs fall away and I am left with a condition where the reasonings of the mind have limited value and intuition (gut instinct) become the more primary way of being. IMO: the Grays do not have a reasoning mind, rather they only have a web of psychic strings where they emphasize specific currents. FYI: If you haven't noticed, I philosophize, but not to convince anyone of anything, rather to stir up currents of thought. Sunbow, you are more than welcome to philosophize. I have often thought what/who are the greys. It seems that as you go deeper with all this and speculate, the deeper it gets. There are times when I wonder if they are here to help us or hinder us. My views of them has changed over the years and honestly, I can't imagine that I'd feel gratitude. Regardless of what was done to me, it altered me. My view of everything is immensely different. For the most part, I'm grateful because it freed me of many things. On the other hand, I hate it at times because there's no going back. I can't go back to how life was when I was blissfully igannant of their involvement. But even then if I was to be perfectly honest with myself, I think that I was already aware. There are times like recently, when all I want is something of a normal life. I see everyone else around me in relationships and I've been single for 6 years. Yeah I chose to, because I felt that I had no choice. There are times when all I long for is a feminine touch. Is that too much to ask for? There are times when I wonder what I am like when I am with them. I know that consciously, I am terrified of their appearance. But I have a deep feeling that when I am there, I feel perfectly fine. Sorry, just thinking...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2013 18:31:54 GMT -6
I considered suicide many times and even failed in that. ~hugggggggggggggggzzz~ I know that feeling... all too well honey... You are in a place here now surrounded by people who can totally relate to almost everything you have mentioned... believe me... Thanks Lorelei. It's very nice to feel welcome some place where you don't have to hide parts of your life from others.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2013 18:39:35 GMT -6
I, too, have had many paranormal experiences and many psychic incidents. I am wondering if visits from those not from here are the catalyst and maybe opens up our minds to these happenings. I've wondered about that too, Mia. I know that with me specifically, I limit myself ("selling myself short"). How have you dealt with it?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2013 18:59:58 GMT -6
Dear Wishmythos, My daughter was distracting me as I read your post back to me, so please forgive me that I haven't finished reading yours, or others' replies . I'm sorry that I wasn't clear on what my questions were! I don't believe that you have asked these "aliens" to come into your life. I don't believe that these "aliens" can be lumped into some generational curse. These are things that supposedly the Christian faith looks for when determining if someone has a "demon". I too, I believe, was taken at a very young age by these aliens. I want to make it very clear that it has nothing to do with my faith in G_d. I will try harder to be careful how I phrase things, Ok? And get back to reading your post this evening! J, I wasn't angry with you. I sometimes get a little testy about beliefs. It's the one thing that the Christian faith has failed to do: take the abduction phenomenon seriously. They claim to have a monopoly on the truth, but when it comes to tackling the issue, they steer clear of it. If they actually took people seriously, they would find that more people have been taken. People just keep quiet because of the fear of ridicule that comes with it. When the realization hit me and shattered my worldview, my beliefs about God went too. I believe that there's a Creator, but beyond that I'm not so sure anymore. For a long time, I clung to my beliefs until I realized that I couldn't go back. I tried and tried, but it was no use. My sister is a Christian and I encourage her in her faith often giving her the advice that she needs because she's new to it. I know that it sounds hypocritical, but it's like I moved from the conventional system of beliefs to something wholly different. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone, it's just that I look at things in a completely different light.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 2, 2013 4:34:55 GMT -6
It's the one thing that the Christian faith has failed to do: take the abduction phenomenon seriously. They claim to have a monopoly on the truth, but when it comes to tackling the issue, they steer clear of it. If they actually took people seriously, they would find that more people have been taken. People just keep quiet because of the fear of ridicule that comes with it. Agreed. (no smiley face here). And for the record, I didn't think you were mad at me, . (and even if you were, I can take it ). This subject is maddening! And I'm learning something. I'm reading your experience about trying to find this woman, thinking about aspects even mentioned by other members here, only to find out that you may be manipulated by the "greys"!? Ugh. It seems that you have reason to believe that "they" may be taking this much control of your life. Its frustrating. (to say the least). I would be looking for a happy ending, if you hadn't had those "shape-shifter" type events, about her. What a cruel trick!
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sunbow
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Post by sunbow on Apr 2, 2013 11:59:28 GMT -6
Wishmythos,
(In My Humble Opinion) Spirituality and Religion are not the same thing. Religion is a mental game that people play on their way to Spirituality. Spirituality is living as a loving being without any mental games. Morality is different than being authentic; it is doing something because you are supposed to, not because it is the most loving thing to do. Some people might not cheat on a spouse because it is the moral thing, but a spiritual person would not want to hurt someone they love and so would not be able to follow a path which brings pain to another person that they are in relation to (another part of their-self). Encouraging someone who has a religion, while not having one yourself, may simply be seeing that it is doing them good and being a loving person; encouraging their present path of growth.
I understand the desire to be with someone. I was single for many, many years. I had to find personal healing to be ready and have now been happily married for a dozen years. I would assume, from what I have read, that you are too intense for most women. That was my problem. Finding someone of the opposite sex that is just as intense did not work, since the way the sexes are intense is very different. All I can say is that when you care less if you are in a relationship, then it is easier for one to happen. When you are OK as a solitary bird, then you may find someone to fly with. Need and want are contradictory to mutually sharing for complimentary benefit. I ramble in words that may or may not help, but no matter what, keep the faith, there is a relationship waiting for everyone. I am speaking of a good, mutually growing relationship, so beware of being over eager and jumping into something that is not quite right. Relationships take effort to work, but some people may be attracted and yet not be meant for a relationship. Imagining a relationship in an idealistic manner is also counter productive, any two people have different karma to work out. I believe that this is an aspect of life that all of us who remember contact have struggled with, especially given the nature of the things they have done to us.
There is a book, Alien Love Bite, which I think will be extremely interesting to you, yet I do not think all the author's analysis is correct. I believe some things she attributes to alien interaction are most likely just the personal karma of the cases she sites. I mention it because at the same time, I think sexuality, a subject we cannot discuss openly, is like our encounter experiences, which we cannot discuss openly. Being telepathic, I do not believe they have any understanding of privacy. Humanity is perverted and breeding ourselves into a mass extinction event. All our media and advertising is based on hyper-sexuality and filling our minds with this second chakra level of being. It is one of many levels of being that should be balanced and holistically embraced. Again I say, have peace and it will happen naturally.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2013 5:14:23 GMT -6
Wonderfully written, Sunbow . I've heard of "alien love bite" also, but never read the book. Maybe I should. Actually, there are a lot of books that I seem to need to read. Like Wishmythos, I steered clear of most "alien" literature. Not long ago I tried to find internet information about Hudson Valley and didn't find a lot. Lois recently talked about a book about it . So glad Steve is getting his book out. ;D ;D
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2013 9:46:09 GMT -6
I do agree with you on religion and spirituality, Sunbow. As from what I've written, you can see I've had my issues on religion and would prefer to go my own way. When it comes to my sister, I have kept what my views are to myself because what she believes works for her. I do it out of love because I know how it is to lose something that I deemed precious at one point. I feel more free by going my own way, but when you've been raised in a particular religion that's been crammed down your throat from day one, it's hard to break free of those ways especially when it's fear-based. She still tries to "reconvert" me though. Sigh... Even amongst people that are abductees/contactees/experiencers, I still feel "other". I do not consider myself intense nor that I want a fantasy relationship. The simple truth is that I can't be with anyone. Allow me to explain. In all the relationships that I've had and even the "romantic" ones, I've had to keep myself at arms length from everyone. I had wrote previously that others lives that I've touched have been plagued by poltergeist activity. So here's how it usually happens: first it starts off small and if you don't pay attention, you'd miss it. Rapping on doors and windows, mostly. When that was ignored by the targeted person, it would get louder and more frequent. Then (not always) it would be directed at me so that the person's view of me what be challenged. There was a couple times when I would meet up with the person and they would act strange towards me and would make some excuse to leave immediately. I would find out later (this was usually with girlfriends) that when I arrived, they would feel an "oppressive" evil presence about me when I was actually in a great mood. From that point, they would be scared of me. Sometimes, when talking on the phone, I would be told later that when they had called me, I sounded different. They said that it was me talking, but my voice was "off" like someone was talking through me. My last girlfriend had saved a voice mail in which she had said the same thing. I listened to it and it seriously bothered me. I had no explanation for it and I told her that I felt normal when I called her. Sometimes, a being would make an appearance. Almost always, it was a hooded figure that was standing in the room. On one occasion in particular, it walked over and grabbed my friend's forearm (he had never had any type of paranormal activity in his life until that night) and conveyed intimidation to him. Needless to say, he stopped talking to me. With family members, it was the rapping, door bell ringing, slamming of unseen objects, the sound of objects falling, and pounding on the ceiling. There was one time when my grandma awakened to hearing my voice outside her window calling her name. (Her bedroom is upstairs, btw.) She didn't know why I would be outside so early in the morning. (I was staying there on a visit.) She thought that maybe I walked outside and locked myself out. She told me later that she went outside and looked for me. She finally gave up and came back inside and found me in the guest room sleeping soundly. She looked scared when she told me, but I smiled and replied, "It was just a bad dream, that was all" and that satisfied her. In recent years, it's taken a turn for the worse in my opinion. Things that have never happened before, or at least none that I can remember. Months after my dad died, my step mom had came home late one night from a friends house to hear a voice coming from my room (I was asleep at the time). When I got up for work, I walked out of the bedroom and she was at the dining room table facing my door. As many times in my life, I immediately recognized the look on her face. I said, "Before you ask me to move out, I just want to say that I have no idea whatever this is. It's been with me all my life and it comes and goes at times. I'm not evil. What happened last night?" She told me that she had heard a voice coming from my room as soon as she walked into the house. She said that it was very loud. She said that it spoke fast in a foreign language (none that she recognized) and that was it. It was quiet afterwards. I was speechless because I had never had that happen before. But then I thought, how would I know that? What else bothered me was what was this voice telling me while I was sleeping? A couple years ago now, I had woke up on the tail end of this very thing. Some disembodied voice was loud and speaking fast in a "foreign" language. If that wasn't enough, it began to get physical. People getting pushed or getting held to their bed. The latest and most disturbing happened as recently as 7 months ago. Before I describe that, I want to say this: In recent years, I found that if I keep people at arms length, it at the very least minimizes the occurrences. Most times, it eliminates them altogether. So back to the most recent one. A friend of mine (she hasn't talked to me in six months) told me when we had lunch that something had happened. We had worked together with some other people and we had gotten close. Just friends, that was all. For the first 9 months of employment there, I kept to myself. I would courteous of course, but never offered any information about myself. After a while, I mistakenly let my guard down and opened up. Things began happening. This woman in particular up to this point in her life hasn't had many paranormal events (she thinks that her mom looks after her from beyond). Then when we were at a lunch, she asked me something before we left. By this time she knew a great deal about me (much to my chagrin). She asked if this had happened to me before: she went into detail (she couldn't look at me because she was very embarrassed) about an event that happened in her guest bedroom. She lives with her dad and takes care of him. At first it was lights in the house that had no originating source. She didn't know what they were and neither had seen them before. Then one night, she said that she went to sleep in the guest bedroom because her back was hurting and it was a newer bed. She said that she was awakened early that morning to the sensation that someone was having sex with her, but no one was there. As she continued describing this to me, I kept my poker face. I was horrified that this was happening to her. I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I had only read about it. I felt horrible. I asked her once she was finished when the first time it had happened (this has happened a total of four times, then it stopped. It happened to her sister as well in the same room.) She told me the date. I then asked her when was the first time we went out for lunch. She couldn't remember off the top of her head, so she looked at her calendar in her purse. She flipped to the right month and the look that I've seen so many times registered on her face. Without waiting for her to tell me, I told her that I was so sorry. She then showed me the calendar. Do I think that I'm causing these things to happen to people I care about? No, I'm not. But I think that if I draw close to people, they are drawn into what Patrick Harpur calls a "circle of enchantment" that allows people to see and experience what they normally wouldn't. As a result, I don't have many "friends" anymore. I keep everyone at arms length and that seems to help me. I know that's not a way to live, but what else can I do? The friend (not anymore, unfortunately) who is also an abductee came with a surprise. When talking with her, I was concerned that she would be experiencing the same stuff that everyone else in my life had. But nothing happened at all. Quiet as could be. She experienced none of the things that I had mentioned above. It was like we had cancelled each other out. It then got me thinking about "Nancy Egan". Would it be the same with her? Is it wrong to want normalcy?
Yes, I've heard of "Alien Love Bite" as well. I agree with you Sunbow on your opinion of the book. Although I haven't read the book, I read an article about it before I went to Worcester, curiously enough. I had a doubt about going and at one time (very briefly), I chose not to go. I had already paid for the fare and the room, but the thought that they might be getting off on my emotional exchange on this, I wasn't going to go. I was driving home when both of my ears started ringing loudly. I couldn't concentrate and was surprised by the intensity. (Up to that point, I would occasionally get ringing in my left ear) I pulled over and waited for it to stop but it didn't. It then occurred to me that it was my decision that triggered it (IMO) and I quickly changed my mind. It stopped immediately. That bothered me, but I went through with it anyway. Like I had mentioned previously, it was like everything was laid out for me concerning this trip and nothing was going to stop me from going. Technically, I shouldn't have been able to go because of an accident at work less than a week before. I wasn't worried at all and somehow everything fell into place, allowing me to go. Strange.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2013 10:17:15 GMT -6
Then one week I had come up to Illinois to visit with my dad (I was living in southern Missouri at the time). One night I was up late and was Internet surfing. I had visited one web page that had linked me with another somehow and I was on a page about abductions. Intrigued as to how I ended up there, I checked it out. I read a story about a guy who lived in Scotland. He told his story on this website about what had happened to him. In it, he had perfectly described the place that I had been. At that moment, I broke down and sobbed. I couldn't lie to myself anymore. That was the beginning of the end (or beginning?) for me. I contacted the man who ran the site, a pastor out of Florida. One other thing that I had read was that you could 'stop your abductions by calling on Jesus when "they" showed and "they" would flee because all they were was demons masquerading as beings from another planet. I called the man and told him some of my story. He told me that abductions happen because of one of three things (or a combination of different ones): 1. You ask for it, 2. Hidden sin in your life, or 3. Generational sin. It struck me odd, but I wanted it all to stop that I was willing to believe anything. For a long while after that conversation, I thought about the implications of what this man had told me. Basically, he was telling me that it was my fault that I was being abducted. So let me break this down: at the age of three, I looked up and saw a huge UFO on the fourth of July in Corona, California and asked to go for a ride? What I remember happening is that once the UFO passed over us, the crowd of people that was assembled in the parking lot turned around and went inside their rooms. I was scared to death because my step father told me that the "aliens" were going to come and get me. (A side note: this is my very first memory that I can recall and none before it. There are no photos of me before this age either. The earliest that I've seen is at four years old and there are only three pictures that I know of. My mom doesn't know what happened to them saying, "They must have been lost in a move.") Then I thought about it some more. I asked to be abducted by beings from some other place? I asked to be raped and to be forced to engage in sex with another human being while they were in the room? I asked to be forced to witness scenes of destruction over and over again as millions, if not billions of people either burn or drown because of an asteroid impact? I asked to be placed as a guide (along with other abductees) to help the misplaced humans after this cataclysm to take them where they need to go? I asked to be single because no woman in her right mind would be with a man whose every life he touches is plagued with poltergeist activity until he leaves their lives forever? Seriously?!! Then on to Number 2. Hidden sin in my life? Regardless of how transparent I've been or how righteous of a life I've tried to live, they come for me whenever it suits their purposes. In the past. thinking that this is the reason, I would continually search my heart for some secret sin. I wondered if I was saved because anyone else I knew didn't exhibit the symptoms that I had. When I had exhausted this course, it was suggested to me that maybe I had something in my possession that caused them to come for me. (At this point in my life, I was unaware of their presence in my life. Although I saw and experienced many things, it was from this vantage point that it had showed me that they had always been in my life.) So I got rid of ALL my earthly possessions several times. It was to the point that I could pack my compact car with what I had in less than 30 minutes and be gone. It didn't occur to me that the thing that I hadn't thrown away was myself. I considered suicide many times and even failed in that. Number 3: Generational Sin. So because of someones supposed wickedness, I am doomed to a life of abductions and isolation? I have scrutinized every one of my family member's lives and have found absolutely no evidence that they've been abducted whatsoever. The only person that I can think of that could possibly have had this happen to him was my father. The only reason that I dare say this is because he saw a UFO once in his life with his buddy that was the chief of police at the time while they were fishing. Yet again, he exhibited nothing of what I have gone through. So as far as I know, I am the only one in my family and extended family. I spoke to this man from the website once more that week and told him about the last one (#3). He said that it could be someone from the past and skipped a generation or two and landed on me. I was seriously angry because this man was full of (I can't say it on this website!). I was angry because Christianity failed to provide answers or help that I so desperately needed. I feared "them" because I looked at them through the lens of Christianity. I viewed them as demons because what else could they be? Months later, my dad had died in an accident and I was back in Illinois and I was living with my step mother as she was trying to get herself back together. I had developed a cyst on the back of my neck before my dad died that had now become infected. I made an appointment with my doctor to have it removed. The week before I went to have the surgery, I woke suddenly in the middle of the night. My dream was interrupted because I saw myself frozen in my girlfriend's car in the woods near where I was living. I immediately awoke (apparently too soon) to find that someone was in the room with me. I strained to see because I was laying on my left side. I clearly saw the shape of a Grey and I lost it. I was paralyzed, but it seemed that it was waning. I tried to scream but I still couldn't. I tried to struggle, but it was still too soon. To reinforce this, "it" had a tight grip on the upper part of my right arm. (BTW, later that day, I discovered that my upper right arm was bruised.) With its left hand, it pushed my face away from seeing it into my pillow. "It" was exposing the area where my inflamed cyst was at. I feared that it was doing something to me and I finally was able to clear my thoughts. I screamed, "Jesus, help me" in my thoughts. Then it was over a moment later. The Grey had apparently left and I was able to move. I sat up and immediately (I'm ashamed to say) I began to doubt if it actually happened. Then I heard the dog and cat whimpering, scratching at the back door trying to get out. I thought it had worked! Wrong. I later discovered that they can make you see whatever it is that you want to see. They can make it look like they left immediately when all they need to do is alter your perception to only show them arriving and them leaving, but deleting the in between time. There were many times that I truly cried myself to sleep begging and pleading that God would stop them from coming after me. It never happened. I realized that they will let me believe what I want to believe. If I believe that they're demons-they don't seem to care. If I believe that they're angels-the same thing. They've not once stopped to tell me what they are. Another thing: you said that it didn't look like any possession that you've heard of. That's because I haven't told the other side of this story. When I was 17, I moved out of my guardian's house and lived several places before joining the military. Between 17 and 19, I moved frequently. I would live at a friend's place for a time (most all of them were from my church). No matter how quiet I was, no matter what I did, After a certain amount of time, I was asked to simply leave. Like right then. No reason was given, they just wanted me gone. I didn't understand why until I was visiting a church family that I was friends with during my first Leave (Army). While I was visiting, I was told the reason why it had happened. I was told that after a certain amount of time (it varied), the family that I stayed with would hear noises coming from the room when I wasn't there. It was ignored until they could clearly hear voices coming from the room. They would check only to find an empty room. Then it would only get worse. Doors would open and close by themselves. Once I was gone, it returned to normalcy. I was told that it happened with every family I had lived with. No one had the courage to tell me this until long after it happened. That's why I was looked as something tainted. This is hitting close to home with me Wishmythos in several ways. Not only the locations ( California and Missouri where I live now) but also what you're describing with people's reactions saying they are demons and people shunning you when they find out what's happening around you. Been there, done that , and sorry to hear it's happened to you too! The second ex couldn't accept the alien thing although she knew it happened. When she turned to her family for answers, they said it was demons. I called upon Christ and also the Holy Trinity during the abduction because I had enough and wanted them gone. I cannot say one way or the other if that is what made them (greys) leave that God forsaken awful night. Although the ex had previously had an encounter with a ufo several years before we got together, she still couldn't accept that this was happening. It had an impact on our marriage but it wasn't the only reason for it's finalization. The awesome woman I am with now knows something very strange is happening around me. If she ever see's these entities, I don't know if she will be able to handle it. I can't blame her. I had a fishing buddy ( who is also family in a way ) who use to go with me all the time but ever since we witnessed a ufo neither of us have gone out since. It scared the you know what out of both of us just seeing the technology which wasn't from this planet. There have also been others fairly recently who got a taste of the paranormal who no longer have any doubts that things are happening around me. This is not fun at all and it bothers me. They have messed with my life also and I hate to know that other's like you and many good people here are going through this. If it is any consolation,,, you are not alone and are among understanding people. Pour it out and let it go if that's what you need to do,,,sometimes it helps. Obviously, I have suffered from ptsd from this phenomena and if it wouldn't have been for people like the ones here at TEOR, I might not have coped with it as well as I have. I know this isn't easy because most people do not understand. We do !
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sunbow
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Post by sunbow on Apr 3, 2013 11:06:21 GMT -6
Wishmythos, I am glad you are sharing. While psychic and paranormal synchronicity happen around me and my presence does increase the intensity and frequency of such things, I have never heard voices or other poltergeist activity, nor to my knowledge have others. My encounters were IMO Extra-terrestrial and although I believe the beings were at a higher level (totally telepathic at a minimum), I do not believe that they are in control of everything that happens in a paranormal manner. There are natural laws in the universe which are beyond our limited world view. All indigenous cultures believe in 'inorganic beings', perhaps also refereed to as Jinn and Archons by later cultures.
People often think I am extremely calm and relaxed or laid-back. Years of meditation may be an aspect of this. When I speak of intensity, I mean what you say, whole currents of psychic energy circle my life and the paths that I thread. Power plays which would trap and crush most are avoided by me listening to the inner voice instinctively.
I just encountered a private report of a woman who was in the military when she encountered an invisible being that laid on top of her. Another soldier told her something about the entity and recommended she avoid it; and while he was speaking to her, she saw a hand print on that soldier's arm and he became instantly silent and pale. There are many things in the universe that are very real which are outside of our ordinary description of reality.
There are experts in the field of poltergeist phenomena who may be able to help, though many would just want to document such things (though perhaps that would also help). Somehow, I also feel (intuition) that the Tibetan tradition may have some people who are able to deal with your condition. If ever the monks are in your area playing music or doing a sand painting, I recommend you go there. Then if you feel so moved, talk to them, they are usually accessible.
All that we can do on this forum is speak in words, so I hope talking helps. We are all different and no two of us have teh same experience, not just in personal life, but also in our dealings with the sentient universe. Again I say, regardless of what is happening, keep a faith that things can be resolved.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 3, 2013 19:59:45 GMT -6
. . . .I had a doubt about going and at one time (very briefly), I chose not to go. I had already paid for the fare and the room, but the thought that they might be getting off on my emotional exchange on this, I wasn't going to go. I was driving home when both of my ears started ringing loudly. I couldn't concentrate and was surprised by the intensity. (Up to that point, I would occasionally get ringing in my left ear) I pulled over and waited for it to stop but it didn't. It then occurred to me that it was my decision that triggered it (IMO) and I quickly changed my mind. It stopped immediately. I get "signals" like this also that my thinking process is on track. Not always as ear ringing, of course. I'm stubborn. I refuse to believe that my mind is read all the time by "someone" else, and what other proof do I need ? I have learned to block possible intrusions. Lorelei also talks about blocking on her personal thread. Prayer works for me, and I use that for discernment often. Otherwise, I may go talking to some co-worker, after being told to in my head, about something trivial . I also feel that I have what I call a jealous spirit around me at times. All my life . Most of the time I consider it my "protector". It may do some things when I am not around, but not near to the extent that you are talking about. My biggest challenge is to not get angry. I have to laugh here and think of Bill Bixby (Tv's Incredible hulk) saying "You wouldn't like me when I am angry" ;D. Things tend to go flying when I am angry ;D without me touching them. I have also felt the air "crackle" with intensity, even when I am not mad. Some of us here have talked about our psy potential, and it is a big topic. In my case, I think that I spent so much time alone (mainly in my head ) as a child, that I either attracted something, or I am tapping into something that humans should be able to use, for our benefit. For many years I thought I was evil. Sometimes I still do . My saving grace is children and animals are overly attracted to me, and I think that they both would sense something "wrong" with me. I somehow instill fear in people at times. I believe, that because I knew I had a personal secret, or felt weird, people picked up on that in a way. We can project this stuff, ya know? It is even more odd for others because WE don't understand it either. I hear odd noises at times, such as knocking, around myself. I have no problem claiming "the blood of Jesus" in different ways (including singing a Christian song) and it stops abruptly. I have also found that I can bind a living, present human being from bothering me by saying out loud "I bind you in the name of Jesus Christ" (of course that is awkward). I was raised Southern Baptist, married to a Lutheran Minister's son, and didn't know about this helping my life until just a few years ago ;D. (I went on a woman's retreat with some Charismatics). When our friend Steve (a ufo investigator and author) has more time, him and I can really get rolling about our upbringing; all fear based and fire and brimstone. . . . about the G_d of the Old Testament. Not until I went searching for G_d on my very own, after disappointment, after disappointment, after shaking my fist at the sky, more disappointment, did I find Him ;D. He's my real Daddy. I see people given cra_ by people who profess to be of the Church Family. It makes me sick most of the time, and then it dawns on me "oh. they're just people." I took the rosy glasses off and sometimes I think I need to just put them back on for awhile ; I've gone too far. I've almost died so many times; accidents, what have you, but I guess I'm meant to be here. Since I'm stuck with myself I better learn to like myself, even if it kills me to just try and be like every one else ;D, polite and all. And yeah, people notice too when I'm inappropriately funny or nice, and I am trying to hide my intensity somehow. That's what it boils down to, IMO, and I can't continue to rely on being tired (in the past-hungover), to tone down. People I have worked with the past 10 yrs. think I am mellow, and I choose when to lower the "poker face". I have also seen blatant "shock" when I speak out, so my disguise is working! Lol. Not long ago I read a book (I read a lot) that had real statistics about all kinds of weird stuff, and it claimed that every one needs 150 friends (aquaintenances). 100 was too little; 160 was too much. . . .Really! Personally, I thrive on about 3 close friends (but not so close they know I've been abducted). We can mention ufo's though . When I start really being there for people, I mean really listening to THEM, 4 friends is suddenly too much. My expectations have become that G_d, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost ( ) are the only ones capable of being MY best friend, and the other stuff just kind of falls into place. Of course, I'm stubborn, and fickle, and want to play, and I often go without thinking about my best friend! I don't know why "He" (my best friend, my real Daddy) has allowed me to experience some really bad things in my life, including this "alien" thing. I keep saying that we live in a "broken world". I'm not alone in this. I don't know what great and wonderful things are yet to come, but there's something! Today just happens to be one of those days I can partly feel that; not just long for it.As I said before, These "aliens" know (from observing us and humanity) just what buttons to push. If posing as "demons" works in my case, then it doesn't work anymore. I didn't ask for this. I don't welcome it. It remains to be seen whether "they" are helping us in some way. I have to have faith that whatever happens, in the end I'm going to be "OK". Every now and then, even us adults just need someone to tell us It's going to be OK. Even if I only believe that enough to fall asleep and get some rest, for now.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2013 21:03:14 GMT -6
Thanks for responding, J. I admire what you believe regardless of what has happened to you. I was going to say that I don't know where my path is going to take me, but I think that some part of me already knows. Where I have found most of my answers has been in the "older world" culture and that honestly did surprise me. I'm sure that my family thinks that I'm going to hell (because of what I believe now), but that doesn't bother me that much anymore. It's just that I find myself on a path that doesn't have a lot of other travelers on it. So far in my life, I've only met two other people (face to face) who have had the abduction experience and they have responded differently to it. It's as if their experiences are as unique as they are. I'm aware that people's perception shapes everything, but it just surprises me that it has been so vastly different. Lol! Speaking of Bill Bixby, a guy at work nicknamed me "hulk". On the surface, I'm rather placid, but I have gotten bent out of shape about a couple things and I guess I can be scary. The same had been for me as a child and my guardians said that I was "anti social". Who knows? Maybe I was. Coming here has definitely helped me. Although it has brought things to the surface that I thought I had dealt with (obviously not), nevertheless I'm glad that I'm getting to know that I'm not the only out there...
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sunbow
Full Member
Seeing, Dreaming, and Loving...
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Post by sunbow on Apr 7, 2013 18:53:36 GMT -6
" It's as if their experiences are as unique as they are. " -- This is a great point that I believe is true. Dealing with them is like looking into a mirror that reflects our own mind. Somehow trying to figure this whole oversight of Earth by the alien presences is almost impossible, but there is no linear logic. Nothing seems to follow rules, as if they make up something new for every case. Mind Games Forever...
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Post by paulette on Apr 8, 2013 21:02:03 GMT -6
Good points CitzenK.
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