Post by skywalker on Dec 25, 2010 8:16:05 GMT -6
I want to start a thread about some of the experiences that I have had. I am going to start off with something that I wrote a long time ago back when I first joined the old MUFON forum, in January of 2009. Back then I was still a skeptic and I was struggling to find some answers about what was going on in my life. I am still struggling, but I am not as much of a skeptic as I used to be. I have had a lot of weird experiences over the past couple of years that have forced me to open my eyes and my mind.
The following is what I originally wrote, so some of my views may be slightly different now. Also, please note that it is not up to my usual standards of writing...that is because I wrote it all in one sitting and did not really put a lot of thought into it...I just wrote what I was thinking and feeling. I am sure I could make it much better if I redid it, but I am not going to. I think it speaks very well about what I was feeling at the time.
I Want To Believe
I don't believe in aliens.
Let me say that from the very beginning. I want to be honest. But something happened to me 20 years ago and I need to know what it was. So I'm going to tell my story and let you decide for yourself.
In August, 1988 I was attending school at Texas Tech University. I was on the football team that year and we were starting preseason workouts. That's why I was there so early. I was living in an apartment across from the stadium with my best friend who was attending summer school. We had known each other most our lives. He was there when all this started.
One night I was asleep in bed when I awoke to find a bright light filling up the room. It was coming from a source outside but it was everywhere. There were no shadows at all. I could hear a weird high-pitch mechanical whine coming from outside, kind of like the sound of a jet turbine engine. I'm not sure if it was the noise or the light that woke me but I was definitely awake.
I was lying on my back with my arms straight by my side, my legs and feet extended. This was kind of strange because I never sleep in that position. I was paralyzed and could not move, although I was aware of what was happening. Suddenly my feet started to rise up into the air as if some invisible hands had reached down from the heavens and grabbed my ankles. The rest of my body started to follow. It was the most unbelievably vivid and realistic dream that I have ever had. It felt so real that as my hips started to lift up off of the bed I yelled at myself to wake up. I could hear my voice yelling inside of my head, "This is NOT happening! WAKE UP!!" Suddenly I was awake and everything was back to normal. I told myself it was just a weird dream and went back to sleep. I would have been convinced of that if not for what happened the next day.
As soon as my friend got home from work that afternoon the first words out of his mouth were, "Man, I had the weirdest dream last night!" He then went on to describe exactly the same dream that I had. The only difference is that he did not wake himself up when I did. He said he continued to float up into the air until only his head was touching the bed, with the rest of his body up at about a 45 degree angle. He said he stayed like that for several minutes before he finally woke up. Other than that the dreams were exactly alike.
Now I happen to think that I am an intelligent person. I have a brain in my head, I studied History and Psychology, and I tend to use logic and deductive reasoning when I think. I'm not some star-crossed lunatic like that guy who releases balloons in the air and then claims that they are UFOs. But I will be darned if I can figure out how two people can have the exact same dream at the same time. Like I said before, I don't believe in aliens, but I cannot find any scientific explanation for what happened that night. Nor can I explain what happened after that.
The nightmares started. I cannot recall more than a handful of bad dreams I ever had before then, but suddenly I was having them every night. The dreams were about sharks, big ones, with razor-sharp gleaming white teeth and big, black, lifeless eyes. I would be in the water with the sharks circling around me, coming up underneath me, there jaws open ready to come crashing down upon me and rip me to pieces. That's when I would wake up shivering in the darkness, afraid to go back to sleep again because I knew they were there...waiting. I started wishing the days would never end because when the darkness came so would the dreams.
I also started having premonitions. That's something else I can't scientifically account for. How can somebody see into the future before it happens? It doesn't seem possible but there it was happening. The visions were not about death, destruction and the world coming to an end like some people have seen. My premonitions seem to be warnings of things that could happen, as if some unseen person is watching over me.
I remember one time I was driving late at night on my way up to Amarillo. It was pouring down rain and had been all day but I didn't think much about it. The area up there is pretty arid. They could use the water. Suddenly I had a vision of myself driving into a flash-flood. I could see it so clearly, every detail as if it were really happening. I saw a big wall of water shooting up in front of me, I saw my headlights reflecting off of it turning the water a muddy brown color, I saw the water come crashing down on the roof of my vehicle and cascade over the windshield. About 30 seconds later I came over a hill and something told me to slow down. It was just a feeling. I had already taken my foot off of the gas and was stepping on the brake when I drove into the flood. It happened exactly the way I saw it. The wall of water, muddy brown, crashing down onto the windshield. It was exact in every detail. If I had not slowed down when I did there is no telling what would have happened.
I've had other premonitions since then. A lot of them. Dreams, visions, sometimes just feelings. I can't explain them but I do pay attention to them, even if it doesn't make any scientific sense. Not much did make sense about that time, especially what happened next.
A few weeks after the dream about the light I was lying in bed fighting off the sharks when I felt something stick me in the back. I have no idea what it was but it jabbed me right between the shoulder blades directly over my spine. I thought maybe I had been bitten by some giant mosquito or something. I reached back to brush away the whatever it was and as soon as I lay down again I suddenly became paralyzed. I tried to get up but could not even lift my head off of the pillow. Then I felt my strength draining out of me. I kept getting weaker and weaker until I finally lost consciousness.
The next morning I woke up so sick I could not even get out of bed. I was extremely weak and could barely keep my eyes open. To make matters worse my entire body was covered with big, reddish-colored splotches. There were hundreds of them, some as small as a dime, some as large as a half-dollar. They were everywhere, even on my scalp underneath my hair. The only places that did not have any were my hands, feet, face and groin. (Thank goodness for that!) They itched terribly. I never went to the hospital to have them checked out because I was too sick to go. I felt like I was going to die, and considering the pain and discomfort I was in I don't think I would have minded.
I still don't know what caused this incident although I have read accounts of other people having similar allergic reactions. Some of these people claim to remember being abducted by aliens, but like I said, I don't believe in aliens.
In the weeks that followed I began having all sorts of problems, some physical, some psychological. I developed a really bad ear infection, followed by a sinus infection. I also started getting headaches and my eyes became really sensitive to bright lights. I had a lot of nosebleeds also, but I've always had them. I broke my nose when I was seven and have had bloody noses ever since. In addition to the physical problems I started getting depressed, which was odd because I usually have a very positive outlook on life. I don't know what happened to me. I would get depressed, then angry, then depressed again. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. My grades started going down, I couldn't sleep, I was starting to alienate all of my friends, and the worst thing was I didn't understand what was happening to me. I felt so alone and miserable. Part of me wanted to die.
It was sometime in November that I became suicidal. It's not that I really wanted to kill myself, because I didn't. I love life and I always have. I just wanted to stop the pain. They say that suicide is a cry for help, and I believe they are right. I desperately needed help. I did not know what was happening to me or why, I just knew that I needed help. Unfortunately, nobody could give it to me.
I spent eight weeks in a hospital under suicide watch. When I finally conned my way out it was not because I was no longer suicidal, it was just that I did not want to be in that hospital anymore. There were some real crazy people in there. Complete lunatics who were totally insane. I was not one of them. I did not belong there.
In the years that followed I slowly tried to put my life back together. I dropped out of school and started working full time to pay off my medical expenses. I also started reading a lot of books about dreams and psychology, including some really unconventional stuff about ESP, premonitions and paranormal psychic abilities. I was determined to figure out what happened. The alien-abduction theory never entered my mind because, like I said, I don't believe in aliens. Then one day I happened to see a show called "The X-files".
When I first heard about the show I was not interested in it at all. It was supposed to be about a UFOs and aliens and other nonsense like that which I was not at all interested in. I thought UFOs were a bunch of phony-baloney, hocus-pocus, mumbo-jumbo nonsense. I thought that people saw what they wanted to see and believed what they wanted to believe. If a person who believed in UFOs saw a strange light in the sky then naturally they would believe it was a UFO. If a person who did not believe in UFOs were to see that same light then they would probably say it was a meteor, or Venus, or swamp gas, or a bird flying with a flashlight in its mouth or whatever. I fell into the latter category. I just could not believe that UFOs were real because I had never seen any conclusive evidence. The same went for aliens. If UFOs weren't real than aliens couldn't be real either. If aliens weren't real than neither were alien abductions.
Period. End of story.
The X-files changed all of that. The first episode I ever saw just happened to be about a guy who was abducted by aliens. It was the way that it happened that got my attention.
The man was asleep in bed one night when a bright light suddenly filled the room! He became paralyzed and slowly started to float up into the air! A shiver ran down my spine when I realized that I had seen that before, not on television or at the movies, but in my own bedroom!
Suddenly I became interested in UFOs, and aliens. I read every book I could get my hands on, watched every movie, every TV show. I bought the entire X-files series so I could get caught up on what was going on. I wanted to believe! I started scanning the skies at night hoping to catch a glimpse of a flying saucer, a silver cigar or a strange light. Heck, I would have settled for the bird with the flashlight. Anything at all would have been nice. Unfortunately, during 20 years of searching I saw nothing. No close encounters, no gray-skinned gods...ET never phoned home.
Over the years I gradually lost faith in the UFO/alien-abduction idea. I just never saw any conclusive evidence to prove it. All I saw were blurry photos, blurry videotapes and blurry eye-witness testimony. Add to that all of the hoaxes and practical jokes that people were pulling and it was easy not to believe. In the end, conventional science won out.
Scientists have always argued against extraterrestrial visitation for a variety of reasons. They cite the relatively young age of the universe, the short period of time that life has had to evolve, and the improbability that it would evolve in the first place. They say that the Earth is the only planet in our solar system capable of supporting life, and only because it just happens to be just the right size and just the right distance from the sun. The odds against life evolving on any other planet were astronomical. Likewise the odds against intelligent life evolving, or that such an intelligent life-form would develop the technological capabilities to travel through space. Even if by some miracle this were to happen the vast distances between the stars would make travel to our solar system impossible. It would take hundreds or even thousands of years to get to our planet, and even if they could get here, why would they? Out of all the billions of stars and planets in the galaxy, why would they come here? Given all of these considerations it seemed impossible that any other-worldly travelers could be coming to Earth.
That is what I believed for the longest time, and I still would believe that if not for the fact that I still cannot explain what happened to me 20 years ago. There is no conventional scientific explanation for how two people can have the same dream at the same time. Or how thousands of other people can be having that same dream. Or how all of these people can remember, either consciously or through hypnosis, being abducted by aliens. Nor can science explain how these so-called alien abductees can have so many of the same physical and psychological symptoms.
I have all of the signs of having been abducted by aliens. The dream about the light, the nightmares, the premonitions, the weird illness and allergy that I had. The emotional problems, the suicide attempts, plus all of the physical symptoms are all typical of an abduction. Headaches, ear-infections, nosebleeds, sinus infections--I even had to have surgery to remove some weird growth from my sinus cavity--all typical of an alien abduction. I could practically be the poster boy for alien-abductees. The only thing missing are the aliens.
For twenty years I searched in vain for an answer to what happened to me and in all that time I found nothing. I read everything I could read, watched every show I could watch, thought everything I could think. Still, nothing. The only thing that could potentially explain it is the alien-abduction scenario, and that would only work if there was such a thing as aliens. That is the one thing that has eluded me all this time. Where are the aliens?
I would probably still be hopelessly lost today if it weren't for something that happened a few weeks ago. I was thinking about that dream again, just like do every day, and all of a sudden it started to make sense. All the pieces of the puzzle just fell into place and suddenly everything made perfect sense. I just had to look at it from a different angle.
People talk about the universe as if it were something that formed just recently, a few billion years ago. They also talk about the size of the universe as if it is a limited thing, but it is not. The universe goes on forever. There is no end to it, just like there is no end to the number of stars, planets and galaxies that exist. There are billions, trillions, zillions of galaxies--the number goes on forever to infinity--so does the number of planets with life on them. To think that the Earth is the only planet that has life on it is ridiculous. It is like a fish in a pond wondering if there is life in other ponds, never knowing about all of the millions of other ponds, not to mention all of the rivers and lakes that exist, plus the huge oceans. And that does not even take into consideration the oceans that may exist on other planets in other galaxies. Of course there is life on other planets, and that life has been here for a long time.
Time is not something that started just a few billion years ago. Time is like space, it goes on forever. There is no beginning of time, or end of time. Time has existed forever, which means that the universe has existed forever, which means that life has existed forever. It also means that life has been evolving forever. Since intelligence is a favorable trait that would give a life-form a better chance of survival it is logical that it would be only a matter of time before intelligent lifeforms would evolve, and some of these life-forms have been evolving for billions of years longer than we have.
Next we have to take into consideration the fact that all planets are formed the same way. They are all made up of the same rocks, the same minerals, the same elements--they are all formed
by the same process. They start out as a big ball of molten lava that gradually cools until it forms a solid crust. As it cools, gasses like hydrogen and oxygen begin to condense forming drops of water that are then attracted by the planets gravity causing them to rain down on the planet. This rain could last for millions of years and would cause the planet to be covered by oceans of water. As the planet continued to cool more gasses would condense forming an atmosphere. This same process is the way that all planets are formed which means that at some point in time every single planet is capable of supporting life. And like I said before, some of these planets have been here billions of years longer than ours has.
Looking at it from this new perspective we now know that there are an unlimited number of planets that have life on them and that this life has potentially been evolving for billions of years longer than ours. That means that in terms of technological development an alien race could be thousands or even millions of years ahead of us. Do we expect them to be bound by the same limitations that we have? With the technology they may possess it might be possible for them to travel faster than the speed of light, or even faster than that. It is conceivable that they could have found a way to journey from one star system to another instantaneously. Which means that there could be an unlimited number of alien races coming here. Which brings up the last question. Why would they come here?
Why, out of all the planets in the galaxy, or in the universe for that matter, would an alien race come here? The answer is obvious. It's because there is life here. A lot of it.
The one thing that scientists think makes the Earth unique is the very thing that would bring alien civilizations running from all corners of the universe to study it, and that is obviously what they are doing.
Looking at it from this point of view not only is it possible that aliens are visiting the Earth, it is highly probable. Which means it is also highly probable that people are being abducted. Which means it is highly probable that I was abducted.
It is that last part that I still have a problem with. It's not so much a scientific point of view that causes me to question it. I think that logic and deductive reasoning have already demonstrated that it is possible. I just don't know if I'm ready to admit it. I think it's more an emotional thing than anything. Maybe after all these years of searching for answers I just can't believe that the answer was in front of me all along. Or maybe I'm just afraid of what it might be.
There is one thing that I know for sure though. I need to know.
I'm currently considering seeing a hypnotherapist to see if I can remember anything about what happened to me twenty years ago. Or what might still be happening to me now. I still have nightmares, and premonitions, and all of the other physical symptoms that go along with them. I've also been having some strange things happen to me lately, including seeing my first UFO just a few days ago. How on Earth do I explain that? I don't know. That's why they call them Unidentified Flying Objects.
I don't know if hypnosis is the answer I looking for, or whether I'll find anything or not. I just know that I have to try. I want to try.
After twenty years of searching, I want to believe.
The following is what I originally wrote, so some of my views may be slightly different now. Also, please note that it is not up to my usual standards of writing...that is because I wrote it all in one sitting and did not really put a lot of thought into it...I just wrote what I was thinking and feeling. I am sure I could make it much better if I redid it, but I am not going to. I think it speaks very well about what I was feeling at the time.
I Want To Believe
I don't believe in aliens.
Let me say that from the very beginning. I want to be honest. But something happened to me 20 years ago and I need to know what it was. So I'm going to tell my story and let you decide for yourself.
In August, 1988 I was attending school at Texas Tech University. I was on the football team that year and we were starting preseason workouts. That's why I was there so early. I was living in an apartment across from the stadium with my best friend who was attending summer school. We had known each other most our lives. He was there when all this started.
One night I was asleep in bed when I awoke to find a bright light filling up the room. It was coming from a source outside but it was everywhere. There were no shadows at all. I could hear a weird high-pitch mechanical whine coming from outside, kind of like the sound of a jet turbine engine. I'm not sure if it was the noise or the light that woke me but I was definitely awake.
I was lying on my back with my arms straight by my side, my legs and feet extended. This was kind of strange because I never sleep in that position. I was paralyzed and could not move, although I was aware of what was happening. Suddenly my feet started to rise up into the air as if some invisible hands had reached down from the heavens and grabbed my ankles. The rest of my body started to follow. It was the most unbelievably vivid and realistic dream that I have ever had. It felt so real that as my hips started to lift up off of the bed I yelled at myself to wake up. I could hear my voice yelling inside of my head, "This is NOT happening! WAKE UP!!" Suddenly I was awake and everything was back to normal. I told myself it was just a weird dream and went back to sleep. I would have been convinced of that if not for what happened the next day.
As soon as my friend got home from work that afternoon the first words out of his mouth were, "Man, I had the weirdest dream last night!" He then went on to describe exactly the same dream that I had. The only difference is that he did not wake himself up when I did. He said he continued to float up into the air until only his head was touching the bed, with the rest of his body up at about a 45 degree angle. He said he stayed like that for several minutes before he finally woke up. Other than that the dreams were exactly alike.
Now I happen to think that I am an intelligent person. I have a brain in my head, I studied History and Psychology, and I tend to use logic and deductive reasoning when I think. I'm not some star-crossed lunatic like that guy who releases balloons in the air and then claims that they are UFOs. But I will be darned if I can figure out how two people can have the exact same dream at the same time. Like I said before, I don't believe in aliens, but I cannot find any scientific explanation for what happened that night. Nor can I explain what happened after that.
The nightmares started. I cannot recall more than a handful of bad dreams I ever had before then, but suddenly I was having them every night. The dreams were about sharks, big ones, with razor-sharp gleaming white teeth and big, black, lifeless eyes. I would be in the water with the sharks circling around me, coming up underneath me, there jaws open ready to come crashing down upon me and rip me to pieces. That's when I would wake up shivering in the darkness, afraid to go back to sleep again because I knew they were there...waiting. I started wishing the days would never end because when the darkness came so would the dreams.
I also started having premonitions. That's something else I can't scientifically account for. How can somebody see into the future before it happens? It doesn't seem possible but there it was happening. The visions were not about death, destruction and the world coming to an end like some people have seen. My premonitions seem to be warnings of things that could happen, as if some unseen person is watching over me.
I remember one time I was driving late at night on my way up to Amarillo. It was pouring down rain and had been all day but I didn't think much about it. The area up there is pretty arid. They could use the water. Suddenly I had a vision of myself driving into a flash-flood. I could see it so clearly, every detail as if it were really happening. I saw a big wall of water shooting up in front of me, I saw my headlights reflecting off of it turning the water a muddy brown color, I saw the water come crashing down on the roof of my vehicle and cascade over the windshield. About 30 seconds later I came over a hill and something told me to slow down. It was just a feeling. I had already taken my foot off of the gas and was stepping on the brake when I drove into the flood. It happened exactly the way I saw it. The wall of water, muddy brown, crashing down onto the windshield. It was exact in every detail. If I had not slowed down when I did there is no telling what would have happened.
I've had other premonitions since then. A lot of them. Dreams, visions, sometimes just feelings. I can't explain them but I do pay attention to them, even if it doesn't make any scientific sense. Not much did make sense about that time, especially what happened next.
A few weeks after the dream about the light I was lying in bed fighting off the sharks when I felt something stick me in the back. I have no idea what it was but it jabbed me right between the shoulder blades directly over my spine. I thought maybe I had been bitten by some giant mosquito or something. I reached back to brush away the whatever it was and as soon as I lay down again I suddenly became paralyzed. I tried to get up but could not even lift my head off of the pillow. Then I felt my strength draining out of me. I kept getting weaker and weaker until I finally lost consciousness.
The next morning I woke up so sick I could not even get out of bed. I was extremely weak and could barely keep my eyes open. To make matters worse my entire body was covered with big, reddish-colored splotches. There were hundreds of them, some as small as a dime, some as large as a half-dollar. They were everywhere, even on my scalp underneath my hair. The only places that did not have any were my hands, feet, face and groin. (Thank goodness for that!) They itched terribly. I never went to the hospital to have them checked out because I was too sick to go. I felt like I was going to die, and considering the pain and discomfort I was in I don't think I would have minded.
I still don't know what caused this incident although I have read accounts of other people having similar allergic reactions. Some of these people claim to remember being abducted by aliens, but like I said, I don't believe in aliens.
In the weeks that followed I began having all sorts of problems, some physical, some psychological. I developed a really bad ear infection, followed by a sinus infection. I also started getting headaches and my eyes became really sensitive to bright lights. I had a lot of nosebleeds also, but I've always had them. I broke my nose when I was seven and have had bloody noses ever since. In addition to the physical problems I started getting depressed, which was odd because I usually have a very positive outlook on life. I don't know what happened to me. I would get depressed, then angry, then depressed again. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. My grades started going down, I couldn't sleep, I was starting to alienate all of my friends, and the worst thing was I didn't understand what was happening to me. I felt so alone and miserable. Part of me wanted to die.
It was sometime in November that I became suicidal. It's not that I really wanted to kill myself, because I didn't. I love life and I always have. I just wanted to stop the pain. They say that suicide is a cry for help, and I believe they are right. I desperately needed help. I did not know what was happening to me or why, I just knew that I needed help. Unfortunately, nobody could give it to me.
I spent eight weeks in a hospital under suicide watch. When I finally conned my way out it was not because I was no longer suicidal, it was just that I did not want to be in that hospital anymore. There were some real crazy people in there. Complete lunatics who were totally insane. I was not one of them. I did not belong there.
In the years that followed I slowly tried to put my life back together. I dropped out of school and started working full time to pay off my medical expenses. I also started reading a lot of books about dreams and psychology, including some really unconventional stuff about ESP, premonitions and paranormal psychic abilities. I was determined to figure out what happened. The alien-abduction theory never entered my mind because, like I said, I don't believe in aliens. Then one day I happened to see a show called "The X-files".
When I first heard about the show I was not interested in it at all. It was supposed to be about a UFOs and aliens and other nonsense like that which I was not at all interested in. I thought UFOs were a bunch of phony-baloney, hocus-pocus, mumbo-jumbo nonsense. I thought that people saw what they wanted to see and believed what they wanted to believe. If a person who believed in UFOs saw a strange light in the sky then naturally they would believe it was a UFO. If a person who did not believe in UFOs were to see that same light then they would probably say it was a meteor, or Venus, or swamp gas, or a bird flying with a flashlight in its mouth or whatever. I fell into the latter category. I just could not believe that UFOs were real because I had never seen any conclusive evidence. The same went for aliens. If UFOs weren't real than aliens couldn't be real either. If aliens weren't real than neither were alien abductions.
Period. End of story.
The X-files changed all of that. The first episode I ever saw just happened to be about a guy who was abducted by aliens. It was the way that it happened that got my attention.
The man was asleep in bed one night when a bright light suddenly filled the room! He became paralyzed and slowly started to float up into the air! A shiver ran down my spine when I realized that I had seen that before, not on television or at the movies, but in my own bedroom!
Suddenly I became interested in UFOs, and aliens. I read every book I could get my hands on, watched every movie, every TV show. I bought the entire X-files series so I could get caught up on what was going on. I wanted to believe! I started scanning the skies at night hoping to catch a glimpse of a flying saucer, a silver cigar or a strange light. Heck, I would have settled for the bird with the flashlight. Anything at all would have been nice. Unfortunately, during 20 years of searching I saw nothing. No close encounters, no gray-skinned gods...ET never phoned home.
Over the years I gradually lost faith in the UFO/alien-abduction idea. I just never saw any conclusive evidence to prove it. All I saw were blurry photos, blurry videotapes and blurry eye-witness testimony. Add to that all of the hoaxes and practical jokes that people were pulling and it was easy not to believe. In the end, conventional science won out.
Scientists have always argued against extraterrestrial visitation for a variety of reasons. They cite the relatively young age of the universe, the short period of time that life has had to evolve, and the improbability that it would evolve in the first place. They say that the Earth is the only planet in our solar system capable of supporting life, and only because it just happens to be just the right size and just the right distance from the sun. The odds against life evolving on any other planet were astronomical. Likewise the odds against intelligent life evolving, or that such an intelligent life-form would develop the technological capabilities to travel through space. Even if by some miracle this were to happen the vast distances between the stars would make travel to our solar system impossible. It would take hundreds or even thousands of years to get to our planet, and even if they could get here, why would they? Out of all the billions of stars and planets in the galaxy, why would they come here? Given all of these considerations it seemed impossible that any other-worldly travelers could be coming to Earth.
That is what I believed for the longest time, and I still would believe that if not for the fact that I still cannot explain what happened to me 20 years ago. There is no conventional scientific explanation for how two people can have the same dream at the same time. Or how thousands of other people can be having that same dream. Or how all of these people can remember, either consciously or through hypnosis, being abducted by aliens. Nor can science explain how these so-called alien abductees can have so many of the same physical and psychological symptoms.
I have all of the signs of having been abducted by aliens. The dream about the light, the nightmares, the premonitions, the weird illness and allergy that I had. The emotional problems, the suicide attempts, plus all of the physical symptoms are all typical of an abduction. Headaches, ear-infections, nosebleeds, sinus infections--I even had to have surgery to remove some weird growth from my sinus cavity--all typical of an alien abduction. I could practically be the poster boy for alien-abductees. The only thing missing are the aliens.
For twenty years I searched in vain for an answer to what happened to me and in all that time I found nothing. I read everything I could read, watched every show I could watch, thought everything I could think. Still, nothing. The only thing that could potentially explain it is the alien-abduction scenario, and that would only work if there was such a thing as aliens. That is the one thing that has eluded me all this time. Where are the aliens?
I would probably still be hopelessly lost today if it weren't for something that happened a few weeks ago. I was thinking about that dream again, just like do every day, and all of a sudden it started to make sense. All the pieces of the puzzle just fell into place and suddenly everything made perfect sense. I just had to look at it from a different angle.
People talk about the universe as if it were something that formed just recently, a few billion years ago. They also talk about the size of the universe as if it is a limited thing, but it is not. The universe goes on forever. There is no end to it, just like there is no end to the number of stars, planets and galaxies that exist. There are billions, trillions, zillions of galaxies--the number goes on forever to infinity--so does the number of planets with life on them. To think that the Earth is the only planet that has life on it is ridiculous. It is like a fish in a pond wondering if there is life in other ponds, never knowing about all of the millions of other ponds, not to mention all of the rivers and lakes that exist, plus the huge oceans. And that does not even take into consideration the oceans that may exist on other planets in other galaxies. Of course there is life on other planets, and that life has been here for a long time.
Time is not something that started just a few billion years ago. Time is like space, it goes on forever. There is no beginning of time, or end of time. Time has existed forever, which means that the universe has existed forever, which means that life has existed forever. It also means that life has been evolving forever. Since intelligence is a favorable trait that would give a life-form a better chance of survival it is logical that it would be only a matter of time before intelligent lifeforms would evolve, and some of these life-forms have been evolving for billions of years longer than we have.
Next we have to take into consideration the fact that all planets are formed the same way. They are all made up of the same rocks, the same minerals, the same elements--they are all formed
by the same process. They start out as a big ball of molten lava that gradually cools until it forms a solid crust. As it cools, gasses like hydrogen and oxygen begin to condense forming drops of water that are then attracted by the planets gravity causing them to rain down on the planet. This rain could last for millions of years and would cause the planet to be covered by oceans of water. As the planet continued to cool more gasses would condense forming an atmosphere. This same process is the way that all planets are formed which means that at some point in time every single planet is capable of supporting life. And like I said before, some of these planets have been here billions of years longer than ours has.
Looking at it from this new perspective we now know that there are an unlimited number of planets that have life on them and that this life has potentially been evolving for billions of years longer than ours. That means that in terms of technological development an alien race could be thousands or even millions of years ahead of us. Do we expect them to be bound by the same limitations that we have? With the technology they may possess it might be possible for them to travel faster than the speed of light, or even faster than that. It is conceivable that they could have found a way to journey from one star system to another instantaneously. Which means that there could be an unlimited number of alien races coming here. Which brings up the last question. Why would they come here?
Why, out of all the planets in the galaxy, or in the universe for that matter, would an alien race come here? The answer is obvious. It's because there is life here. A lot of it.
The one thing that scientists think makes the Earth unique is the very thing that would bring alien civilizations running from all corners of the universe to study it, and that is obviously what they are doing.
Looking at it from this point of view not only is it possible that aliens are visiting the Earth, it is highly probable. Which means it is also highly probable that people are being abducted. Which means it is highly probable that I was abducted.
It is that last part that I still have a problem with. It's not so much a scientific point of view that causes me to question it. I think that logic and deductive reasoning have already demonstrated that it is possible. I just don't know if I'm ready to admit it. I think it's more an emotional thing than anything. Maybe after all these years of searching for answers I just can't believe that the answer was in front of me all along. Or maybe I'm just afraid of what it might be.
There is one thing that I know for sure though. I need to know.
I'm currently considering seeing a hypnotherapist to see if I can remember anything about what happened to me twenty years ago. Or what might still be happening to me now. I still have nightmares, and premonitions, and all of the other physical symptoms that go along with them. I've also been having some strange things happen to me lately, including seeing my first UFO just a few days ago. How on Earth do I explain that? I don't know. That's why they call them Unidentified Flying Objects.
I don't know if hypnosis is the answer I looking for, or whether I'll find anything or not. I just know that I have to try. I want to try.
After twenty years of searching, I want to believe.