I have entered into a new state of mind - OK it's been coming on for over a year but I'm just now realizing that its not a passing "fancy" of mine.
I am withdrawing from the world--mostly.
Oh I have some friends and I see them sometimes. I called a very old (and aged) friend in the USA this morning. It was good. But by the time I hung up (gently) I had had enough. My relationships with people don't seem to nourish me as much as they once did. I don't ask as many questions and I definitely don't offer as many (probably useless) answers.
I want to be alone. (I feel alone writing this).
I want to read, to write, and to have the luxury of silence. I drive off in my car and just sit or read or even nap. No one to ask me anything or remind me that I didn't submit some stupid piece of paper to someone who probably won't read it anyway.
It's time to heal myself. I need aloneness to do that.
I'm not surprised that I no longer have UFOish experiences. I don't want to meet with them. I have nothing further to show or tell them. Maybe they get that.
Some might say that I am depressed. But I have to say, I ENJOY being alone, writing alone, reading alone.
So it goes. Not sure what use I can be to this group but I'll check in now and then.
DISCLAIMER: If we weren't half crazy we wouldn't be here But then they'd just have to find another place to keep us
I am very much that way too Paulette..I have no problem keeping my own company..I LIKE being alone with my thoughts. Sometimes just to sit and think of nothing just listening to my wind chimes..just 'being'. You're re-inventing yourself..we all do every so often..I'm in that process too and people don't much understand why..they figure I'm dingy because of my husband passing. Nah..I was ready for that a long time ago..but when you've been tied to someone that long..working to keep him happy or at least placated..it becomes more than an occupation..it is you..and now..I have to find who I am underneath all of the faces I've put on for so many people for so long. I don't know what I'll find. I'm not very patient right now..I'm more edgy..waiting. It will come..I'll be shown/led/find what it is I'm hunting and you will too. Alone..you're in good company
I thought that "my time in aloneness" was kind of forced upon me (contagious illness, busy with major family issues; etc.).
I keep getting precious memory back. Not always great memories. But precious.
When I first got out of my horrible marriage for real, I did make an effort to make some close friends then also, in a "church community". I DO have a couple of friends from that time. One of them "prophesied" over me that I needed to spend some time alone- that I was going to get some "great one-on-one time with God". I didn't believe her and may have laughed internally. 🙁. I didn't ask for her "bit of wisdom", and in fact, during this time that she spoke this "over me", she claimed that she herself was in a season where she wasn't hearing God's voice........ I, at the time, was starting to date again and resented this "appeal"... . .
Awwwww. All these years later ( 14 !!!) I wish that I had taken her "advice" sooner!
But ultimately, I made the choice to "hunker down to hermit status".
And now I am free, and can look back at it and understand why it was so important. And can still want it about every other day. 😊
As hard as it was, I was never REALLY isolated on an island. I had you guys! And I had that "greater" relationship to develop with my Maker and myself!
For some reason, some of us get to CHOOSE to slowly "fade out" for a bit.
Others, well, they "go" kicking and screaming, overdosing, nervous breakdown, causing casualties, and some how THATS become the norm in getting TIME for yourself??
A vacation here and there just doesn't give a person that true down-time....
I think that it's all a choice, Paulette. A little prodding to go a different direction isn't always pleasant.
spotless38: Iam back after a long break . What a couple of years I had . After what had happened I lost my brother and had to bury him and then I had caught that type A flue and I was a very sick puppy I also needed blood for the loss of it .
Jul 7, 2018 13:30:41 GMT -6
lois: Very Happy to see you Ron. Missed you. Glad you are doing better now. Sorry for your lost. I did not know your brother had passed. hugs lois
Jul 10, 2018 0:52:45 GMT -6
paulette: Ron - hope you've hit a quiet spot. Sorry for your loss.
Aug 3, 2018 10:49:30 GMT -6
lois: I picked up my phone a few days ago and I looked at the name of the caller. Boy was I surprise. It has been a couple of years. So good to hear your voice Ron. Hope you make it a habit again. love and hugs .
Aug 15, 2018 23:21:38 GMT -6
leia77: Spotless, I am glad that you are feeling better and welcome back! I too am back from a long time away...
Aug 31, 2018 2:08:32 GMT -6
jcurio: I am much relieved to see that you have been on here, Spotless! I hope that things are going much better for you now
Sept 19, 2018 16:46:42 GMT -6
jcurio: And Lois, And Lorelei!
Sept 19, 2018 16:47:07 GMT -6
casper: And Meeeeeee!!
Oct 16, 2018 18:41:31 GMT -6
lois: Sorry guys I cannot see the print. On is tiny hand computer
Oct 21, 2018 20:42:09 GMT -6
lois: Casper your page stops at page five in 2016
Nov 15, 2018 23:54:01 GMT -6
lois: How did your Halloween night go this year?
Nov 15, 2018 23:54:58 GMT -6
skywalker: He posted on the Halloween thread this year.
Nov 25, 2018 18:33:36 GMT -6
lois: Oh ok Sky I will check it out. Thanks.
Dec 21, 2018 21:45:31 GMT -6
lois: What topic was it under.
Dec 21, 2018 21:51:07 GMT -6