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Post by jojustjo on Dec 16, 2018 21:08:55 GMT -6
To think in a more positive vein....something that you are intensely thankful for this Christmas season. I'm so very thankful for my son and daughter..that we have a roof over our heads...food enough to eat and share with others this Christmas. Grateful that my belief's have my first born safely in heaven along with my husband and nephew...it gives me so much pleasure to know they are happy and safe. I am thankful for my job...picking up and cleaning up after the mechanics at the airport gives me less time to brood or feel sorry for myself. What I pray for...is an end to all of the hatred and fear I sense ...the unrest in the world. Just to know that every child on the face of the earth is warm and fed...would be such a miracle. And bless all of you for being on the other end of a computer..but very real when I needed you to be. Merry Christmas!!!
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Post by skywalker on Dec 16, 2018 21:13:59 GMT -6
Merry Christmas to you too, jo. As for what I'm thankful for, I'll have to think about that.
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Post by jojustjo on Dec 18, 2018 0:04:28 GMT -6
Huggs to you Sky ...hoping you the very best in all.
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Post by paulette on Dec 18, 2018 23:26:53 GMT -6
I want to do this. I know I'm stuck right now and need to look left or right. It's just that I am a caregiver - to my clients, to the woman who works at the front desk (who would be out of a job if I left the way I want to. To my ungrateful befuddled husband. To my friends who I listen to and cry (and laugh) with but then they casually mention that they are in other discussion groups, book clubs, going to Hawaii because an aunt gave them money to do that. I feel excluded and not very interesting to be their friend anymore. I'd like to talk about a book a friend and I both read. I'd like to be invited to go somewhere and do something.
So if I have any genuine gratitude its for the fact that I am not afraid of the dark and believe it really does hold the universe together. I will not mind making its acquaintance when that time comes.
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Post by jcurio on Dec 19, 2018 13:55:25 GMT -6
I feel excluded and not very interesting to be their friend anymore. Read more: theedgeofreality.proboards.com/thread/8210/#ixzz5aA2OaulL————————— Banish Such Thoughts !! I mean it. ANYTIME these sort of thoughts come to mind, you KNOW what to do! This is NOT AT ALL, A PRIVATE “PITY” PARTY (type of statement). You have the right to be sad. You have the right to see that right now, your life’s PHYSICAL events are limiting the things you can do.
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Post by jcurio on Dec 19, 2018 14:15:31 GMT -6
Yes,, you have the right to feel excluded.
That type of exclusion can happen because you cannot get off work. Because you can’t find someone reasonable to stay with your husband while you are gone for a long weekend. Because you just spent your vacation money on helping your daughter and grandchild.
Do you want your friends to feel so bad for you that they never tell you what they are up to? Of course not!
Do you need them to occasionally say to you “I wish that you could come with me”? Or would that be (if heard enough) a way of “rubbing in” the circumstances that you are stuck in right now? **************
I’m most sad for you that through all of this, you somehow hear in the background that you are uninteresting.
THAT is THE LIE that keeps thousands and thousands of people from trying to find something “Interesting” about this life.
Who says that You have to be interesting?? ~ wink ~ 😉
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Post by jojustjo on Dec 19, 2018 23:32:31 GMT -6
Ok Paulette... You're not shopping in the wrong store...you ARE the gift everyone needs under their tree...the one who listens and cares and does give. People take...they don't mean to but they do...and you have this special lovely energy that is always there. I'm a bit of that person too. The one everyone expects to have the answers and sometimes I even do The trouble is...where does the caring person go for the care they need? Well I discuss this with God at great length...he is the ultimate listener. Or I come in here and delve into one of JC's energetic quests (she always has a quest and I love that). When I'm alone..sometimes there are those tears of self pity...sadness.. I'd love to share experiences with you..you have had so many interesting ones. I think you're brilliant and while it might not seem so at the moment...be grateful that you can care as you do....because those who do care are becoming less and less in our angry world. I am sad for your loneliness but I understand it and I wish for you a happier more fulfilled new year.
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Post by paulette on Dec 21, 2018 17:04:40 GMT -6
Thank you thank you Jo. Just getting a positive bounce back is comforting. I had been low for awhile when I wrote my post. I am having to detach from my husband - from expecting him to the be the husband he was earlier in our relationship. There is a meanness, possibly brain damage, possibly frustration on his part. I cannot take it personally (other than to check to see what part I might actually play in it.)
I dive and dip these days. The happy moments just kind of set me up for expectations that things will remain peaceful. They don't.
That is as it is.
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Post by jojustjo on Dec 22, 2018 0:39:15 GMT -6
When my husband decided his course of action..taking himself from the hospital, putting himself to bed and waiting to die...it was his choice, it wasn't about me...but I was so angry and hurt..and it went on for what seemed an eternity but in reality was 8 months. I knew there wasn't a thing I could do I hadn't...but I still spent hours watching him sleep the sleep of the heavily morphined. I was relieved when he passed and thought that was the end of it. Nah it crashes back from time to time and I know that incident changed me deeply. In the end..there was nothing between us..no words..nothing but a long wait that I wouldn't wish on anyone. And what I grieved for was what we had before. You didn't change...he did but you'll keep trying to find ways to 'fix' it. He's in his own head space now..and we're not invited there. Thank God women tend to be so adaptable Sometimes..we get no choice because the action of others forces our own path. But do find solace and pride in your ability to help others..and to care as much as you do. It's quite a lovely gift. And anytime..you need an ear..just whistle me a message in here and maybe I can help. We have a lot of feelings in common.
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Post by paulette on Dec 23, 2018 14:53:57 GMT -6
Thank you Jo.
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Post by paulette on Feb 10, 2019 15:58:52 GMT -6
After his (husband's) assessing gerontology talked to him and then to me she put him on an antidepressant - to help him think better. It's working! He is nicer and less angry about random things. Better living through ghemistry.
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Post by jojustjo on Feb 11, 2019 0:20:22 GMT -6
That's great Paulette...I'm happy they could help him and you
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