niki
New Member
Posts: 65
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Post by niki on Jul 31, 2013 12:48:13 GMT -6
5 Sure Signs you're getting older: 1. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again." 2. Your house plants are still alive, and you can't smoke any of them 3. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. 4. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 5. You hear your favorite song...in an elevator.
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Post by auntym on Jul 31, 2013 12:55:12 GMT -6
5 Sure Signs you're getting older: 1. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again." 2. Your house plants are still alive, and you can't smoke any of them 3. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach. 4. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. 5. You hear your favorite song...in an elevator. i can identify with most of that...
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Post by auntym on Sept 18, 2013 16:09:28 GMT -6
i received this email today and wanted to share it with all of you... Thoughts After 70 As I was lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really care anymore. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, but is still fat. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years, while A tortoise doesn't run and does mostly nothing, yet it lives for 150 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so. Just grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to remember the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 6. If all is not lost, then where the heck is it ? 7. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than to get wiser. 8. Some days, you're the top dog, some days you're the hydrant; the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 9. I wish the buck really did stop here, I sure could use a few of them. 10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids. 12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 13. The world only beats a path to your door when you're in the bathroom. 14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees. 15. When I'm finally holding all the right cards, everyone wants to play chess. 16. It's not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere. 17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after". 19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded. 20. HAVE I SENT THIS MESSAGE TO YOU BEFORE..........?
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Post by auntym on Sept 19, 2013 11:51:31 GMT -6
Even aliens understand how politicians work.
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Post by auntym on Sept 23, 2013 14:32:23 GMT -6
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Post by lois on Sept 24, 2013 11:37:17 GMT -6
Mickey Rooney just turned 93 years old. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICKEY .. Some of you may remember this movie. Not sure I do but remember watching most of them . Latest interview 2011. looking good today..
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Post by auntym on Oct 30, 2013 13:42:07 GMT -6
WOW...WOW...WOW... this is great...the fun starts at 55 mark The Ohio State University Marching Band Performs Published on Oct 26, 2013 The "Hollywood Blockbuster Show" was performed by members of the Ohio State University Marching Band on October 26th, 2013 at the Penn State Game. Coming off of their Michael Jackson Tribute show, students had a week to learn the drill associated with this show and a little over a week to learn the music. For more information on The Best Damn Band In The Land Visit our website at: tbdbitl.osu.edu/
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Post by skywalker on Oct 30, 2013 19:44:17 GMT -6
That was very good. I loved the part with the dinosaur.
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Post by auntym on Nov 19, 2013 14:18:39 GMT -6
great 'HONDA' ad... HONDA HANDS Published on Jul 3, 2013 Discover more at bit.ly/HondaHandsfilm. Honda "Hands" film celebrates the curiosity of Honda engineers, which has led to some of the most successful Honda innovations over the past 65 years.
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Post by swamprat on Nov 19, 2013 15:34:56 GMT -6
"HONDA HANDS" -- Great demonstration of computer-generated graphics! Is it little wonder we are so susceptible to CGG UFOs?
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Post by auntym on Dec 11, 2013 12:36:23 GMT -6
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Post by swamprat on Dec 15, 2013 12:26:45 GMT -6
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Post by auntym on Dec 15, 2013 15:21:23 GMT -6
THE AMAZING CLYDESDALES
Published on Oct 12, 2012
A collection of Buderweiser commercials featuring the Clydesdales as the "Hero's".
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Post by swamprat on Dec 15, 2013 18:12:45 GMT -6
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Post by auntym on Nov 3, 2014 14:51:34 GMT -6
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2818466/Sesame-Street-marks-45th-birthday.html?ito=social-twitter_mailonline
Happy birthday Big Bird and the gang! Sesame Street celebrates its 45th anniversary *The children's show debuted 45 years ago on November 10, 1969 *It remains popular, ranking 20th among kids ages two to five with 850,000 viewers per TV episode *Successful in making the digital transition By Associated Press Published: 3 November 2014 Flashback: The cast of Sesame Street pictured in 1969 (Clockwise from top: Will Lee, Alaina Reed Hall, Roscoe Orman, Linda Bove, Northern Calloway, Sonia Manzano, Emilio Delgado, Bob McGrath, Loretta Long) SESAME STREET CELEBRATES 45 YEARS Published on Nov 3, 2014 Happy Birthday Big Bird and his friends! Sesame Street celebrates its 45th anniversary Children's show debuted 45 years ago on November 10, 1969 It remains popular, ranking 20 among children ages four fifty-eight with 850,000 viewers per episode TV The success in making the digital transition You do not get to be the child's longest running show in television history of the United States to do the same thing over and over again. So although parents who grew up watching Sesame Street can still see old favorites like Big Bird, things on the street have changed since the show debuted 45 years ago on 10 November 1969. Cookie Monster now exercises self-control and sometimes eat fruits and vegetables. Millions of kids watch the show on phones and computers instead of TV. And there is less time on the street with human characters. They are simply not strong enough for viewers today. That Sesame Street still exists at all speaks volumes. In 1973, he was one of two television programs for preschoolers. Now he is competing with 84 children shows on TV and many others online. However, Sesame Street still holds its own, ranking 20 among children two to five years with 850,000 television viewers per episode, according to Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit organization behind the series. But now half the viewers see in digital formats. Options include SesameStreet.org, PBSKids.org, Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and some 50 applications. A Sesame Street YouTube channel has one million subscribers and 1.5 billion views. And touch screens have been "a magic wand for us in terms of commitment, 'says Sesame Street senior vice president Scott Chambers. Children can trace letters or spot colors or shapes, and the application provides positive reinforcement. Sesame Street also has the highest 'co-viewing' experience - meaning adults watching with kids - of any preschool program: 49 percent of viewers of Sesame Street are over 18. "We are very proud of it," Chambers said. "We designed the program to involve parents, because we know it is educational. If you have a parent do with you, you will learn a lot more." That's why we often have celebrity guests sketches or references to contemporary pop culture that two years of age do not receive, but adults. A parody of James Bond starring Cookie Monster as a secret agent, double stuffed 7, 'The Spy Who Loved Cookies.' Another show celebrates "what makes people special," Elmo says Lupita Nyong'o your skin 'is a beautiful brown color. "The actress replies," The skin comes in lots of shades and beautiful colors... I love my skin! ' He is a classic Sesame Neighborhood lesson about diversity that dates back to its revolutionary roots as one of the few shows in the 1970s to offer all races and ethnic groups. Today's show also features routinely disabled children. The parents whose children watch old episodes may be puzzled by warnings that the material may be inappropriate for children today. But remember 'Monsterpiece Theater, "a parody of PBS' Masterpiece Theater '? Back in the day, Cookie Monster hosted the show as Alistair Cookie and had a pipe, imitating real human show host Alistair Cooke. Cookie Monster gobbled up the tube instead of smoking, but no reference to smoking is now unacceptable. The music has changed too. Those memorable lyrics, "Sunny day, sweepin 'the clouds away, on my way to where the air is sweet,' still open each episode, but now the song has a more jazz syncopation. Other sketches include hip-hop and Latin music. In a new episode, rocker Elvis Costello appears singing, 'A Monster went and ate my red two "with the music of his famous line." The angels want to wear my red shoes' Count Dracula, as von Count puppet uses a a disco beat to teach a lesson about the number nine in the 'number of the Day' segment, and each episode ends with 'Elmo's Musical, "Broadway-style songs and a velvet curtain. The new stations will also have less street real human characters and puppets animated sketches or other technical wizardry. Executive producer Carol-Lynn Parente said the puppets are mad at them 'helping Sesame Street compete with many other children's shows that are animated energy. Sesame Street is also unique because before the scripts are written, child development experts provide input on what kids today need to succeed in school. Therefore, in addition to teaching letters, numbers and values, the show is now teaching behaviors such as impulse control and listen to instructions. CONTINUE READING: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2818466/Sesame-Street-marks-45th-birthday.html?ito=social-twitter_mailonline
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Post by auntym on Nov 14, 2014 13:52:01 GMT -6
Sesame Street Turns 45: Ernie's First Colonoscopy - CONAN on TBS
Published on Nov 13, 2014
Now that the children's show is hitting middle age, it's time for its characters to do the responsible thing.
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Post by auntym on Nov 14, 2014 14:00:02 GMT -6
... another e-mail...
A burglar > broke into a house one > night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for > valuables when a voice in > the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly > jumped out of his skin, > clicked his flashlight off, and froze > When he heard nothing > more, after a bit, he > shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo > out so he could > disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a > voice....say, ‘Jesus is > watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around > frantically, looking for the > source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his > flashlight beam > came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed > at the parrot. ‘Yep’, > the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to > warn you that he is > watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who > in the world are > you?’‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ > the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of > people would name a bird Moses?’ > ‘The same kind of people that would name > their Rottweiler > Jesus.’
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Post by skywalker on Jan 12, 2015 19:43:47 GMT -6
This doesn't have anything to do with UFOs but it's freaking funny.
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Post by skywalker on Jan 12, 2015 20:50:55 GMT -6
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Post by skywalker on Jan 12, 2015 21:01:18 GMT -6
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Post by skywalker on Jan 12, 2015 21:34:14 GMT -6
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2015 0:01:33 GMT -6
That is funny stuff
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Post by skywalker on Jan 13, 2015 0:09:15 GMT -6
I needed a good laugh after that so-called football game I watched yesterday.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 13, 2015 11:05:12 GMT -6
LOL
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Post by auntym on Jan 26, 2015 14:34:23 GMT -6
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Post by auntym on Jan 30, 2015 16:25:33 GMT -6
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Post by auntym on Jan 30, 2015 16:32:12 GMT -6
to my surprise i'm not one of the intellectuals... LOL
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Post by swamprat on Feb 17, 2015 15:16:49 GMT -6
Stunts you will NEVER see ME do! :
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Post by auntym on Mar 6, 2015 19:15:09 GMT -6
another e-mail... - Subject: Pastor's adviceThe pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. ... You must abstain from sex for an entire month." The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church. When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed. "You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired. "We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked him what happened. "Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to abstain through sheer will power. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts. But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly. "You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church," stated the pastor. "We know," said the young man, hanging his head. "We're not welcome at Home Depot anymore, either
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Post by swamprat on Mar 6, 2015 20:23:59 GMT -6
OK, well.....in THAT case, try THIS one:Top ‘O the morning to ye!A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his drive into the woods. Looking for his ball, he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back, a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball beside him.
Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from the cart and poured it over the little guy, reviving him.
"Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.
"I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says.
"Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square. Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"
"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer answers in relief. "I don't want anything, I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologise."
And the golfer walks off.
"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself.
"I have to do something for him. I'll give him the three things I would want... a great golf game, all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."
A year goes by and the golfer is back. On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.
"Twas me that made ye hit the ball here," the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"
"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers. "I'm an internationally famous golfer now." He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're all right." "Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"
"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states. "When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!"
"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?"
The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK."
"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?"
Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers, "Once, sometimes twice a week."
"What?" responds the Leprechaun in shock. "That's all? Only once or twice a week?"
"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish."
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