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Post by jcurio on Jan 16, 2019 6:38:26 GMT -6
Who would I be? To not show compassion? Who would I be, to persecute the poor and needy? Why should I ever wish to slay the broken in heart? Read more: theedgeofreality.proboards.com/thread/1418/who-simplistic-solutions-jc?page=102#ixzz5clzqQiR5_________ This, is from ~ Psalm 109:16~ Kjv And yes, I turned this verse into “proactive” 😉😁. Read Psalm 109. That one chapter today. I don’t have to “curse” bad-behaving people in my heart.... it is done here; by a King (David); waaaaay before our time. (: sometimes I find such chapters of the Bible to be.... well; sorrowful. Hateful. You may find that TODAY, it just might ease your heart to hear what is wished upon those that are wicked).
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 16, 2019 11:19:36 GMT -6
Children always suffer the most...that I know first hand but I know you will do all you can to shield her. I did a lot of tap dancing to keep the peace with my bi-polar husband for so many years that it became habit and sadly my kids did the same...anything to keep the peace. Short of murder you do what you have to do. Wish for you that it will all just calm down and blow away...I am glad to see you here..missed you.
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Post by Princess Leia on Jan 16, 2019 15:30:45 GMT -6
Love you guys ❤️
The more I read about how to handle a sociopath and why they do what they do- the more sick to my stomach I feel.
A bipolar partner is far different- but difficult as well
The hardest part for me to wrap my head around is that he can’t actually feel love, fear or empathy. It’s maddening and explains so much about his behavior. The more I read about the disorder- the more it clicks.
He acts. He pretends. But he doesn‘t feel. He never did- and it‘s not his fault. He‘s still dangerous though... sigh.
His psychiatric evaluation stated that he “Hides his feelings“. Not quite. His feelings are not expressed properly because they are absent- not hidden.
Several months ago he told me somethng that bothered me. Now that I have been studying sociopathy (anti-social personality disorder)- it makes more sense why he said it. He told me, “love isn’t about how you feel. It’s what you DO for your partner.” He then told me that I did not love him because sometimes I said “no” and sometimes attempted to set boundaries (sociopaths don’t respect boundaries).
I now understand why he said that with such conviction. He wasn’t merely trying to manipulate me into giving him what he wanted. He actually believes that this is how love is defined. He actually sees “love” as a behavior pattern- not an emotion.
Oh well.
Towards the end of our relationship he began to accuse ME of being a sociopath- which was why I began studying about it in the first place. The reason why- was because I was mirroring him as partners often do. Because I am a very empathetic and emotional person- I mimicked his own disorder and he noticed it.
It will take me quite some time to recover from the damage that he did to me. I can only hope that he does not damage the child too much with his behavior...
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Post by jcurio on Jan 16, 2019 17:20:11 GMT -6
You can’t change the past.
Do you remember how and why you ended up with him?
Seriously, were there behaviors that you ignored, because he filled SOME need?
(I’m guilty of this).
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Post by jcurio on Jan 16, 2019 17:46:25 GMT -6
To Lois:
TT (time traveler) is not Jim Sparks. I’ve seen pictures of both individuals, and IF those pictures are accurate, they are not the same person. 😊
I don’t know if “Jim sparks” still has YouTube videos, but I read TT’s accounts on Mufons forum that we all used to be on. TT had ONE video that I am aware of.....
I remember Steve debunking TT on that forum. Would Steve have gone on YouTube to debunk Jim Sparks, in several videos?
Sorry. I got the impression that Jim Sparks had a larger story to tell. _______________
TT DID see, and talk about some things that I was also seeing. Namely, faint, like “shadows” of poles, next to actual electrical poles on our streets. Weird objects, flying low in the sky, in broad daylight, that looked like birds one second, and a moment later, something else 😁.
Doesn’t sound so crazy, now? 😌😉
Where “TT” sounded “crazy” to me, was the long, convulted story of being led, or inticed, to walk into areas that were clearly labeled “no trespassing”. He couldn’t understand this. Since then, I have heard other people talk about similar circumstances.
Wonder how he is doing these days?
Poor guy. He just needed someone who had also had an experience with feeling “manipulated”.
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Post by jcurio on Jan 16, 2019 17:52:26 GMT -6
Yeah. There are still a ton of Jim Sparks vids 😊
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Post by Princess Leia on Jan 16, 2019 18:00:21 GMT -6
You can’t change the past. Do you remember how and why you ended up with him? Seriously, were there behaviors that you ignored, because he filled SOME need? (I’m guilty of this). Yes. I was lonely and he led me to believe he was deeply enfatuated with me (“love bombing” which is a very common behavior for sociopaths). He persuaded me to move in with him after just a couple months (my research says sociopaths swoop in on their “targets” very quickly and strongly which was exactly what he did). Then, I became pregnant. And was trapped. Then, the child became ill and I became MORE trapped. The sociopath changes once the target is trapped. The behavior changes from “you’re so beautiful/smart/funny/amazing/awesome” to long-winded lectures about what a woman is expected to do, what he thinks is wrong with you, and him explaining why you are abnormal, crazy, stupid, misguided, unattractive, confused, imagining things, in need of therapy, unable to satisfy him in bed, why everything you believe is wrong and why his own mistakes are actually YOUR fault and not his fault. And if you tell him you feel he is being abusive, he tells you (and all his friends and family) that YOU are actually abusing HIM whenever he doesn‘t get what he wants or whenever you don‘t do or say what he demanded of you. It‘s funny really. All his former partners accused him of abuse. And yet he says they are all crazy liars and THEY were abusing HIM. Because the sociopath‘s definition of abuse is “i didn’t get what I wanted. My target told me no to something.” Oh well. Live and learn... I think I’d rather be a single abstinent parent from now on. At least for awhile. I don’t need a partner to live a fulfilling life. I’m tires of the arguing, the accusations, the lies and the mind games. I’d rather be single. I’m getting too old for this.
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Post by auntym on Jan 16, 2019 23:35:15 GMT -6
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Post by jcurio on Jan 17, 2019 7:40:33 GMT -6
Of course! Thanks!
(Again, it is not something that I have been watching/reading. I just mentioned it in conversation.)
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Post by jcurio on Jan 17, 2019 8:12:32 GMT -6
Invader twentyfive is back. I do recall my conversations there.... on the Marin Civic Center thread.
And yes, I can honestly say that it’s one of those “coinky-dink’s”, because yes, I have wondered about “him” lately.
Firstly, because this individual showed concern about me falling in my home, and my dogs. The dogs, um, taking over 😊. I’m not the one falling around here (and now my dad falling is a daily thing).
So, this person either was “skimming me”, or, maybe they read another language better? IDk. You can no longer view their side of the “conversation” at the Marin thread. 😖😊 ________________
Secondly, and more importantly, I have most recently “shared” about markings/writing on my body.
This goes right along with Invader and myself talking about “talking with people? in another dimension.
I have considered that this “white stuff” on my arm is what has been referred to as “ectoplasm”? (Something like that).
And my next thought is, people have related ectoplasma whatever to the appearance of ghosts? (Ghosts as in, dead relatives trying to “speak” with us). ??
I DO NOT think that any dead relatives of mine were trying to communicate with me.
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 19, 2019 0:10:07 GMT -6
Well....might not be a relative...might be someone who has an attachment there...whoever sure must want your attention. If you're bothered more than you want to deal with ...sage your home...sprinkle salt water...and absolutely invite them to leave that you don't want them there. Works on some ghosts...not so much aliens I'm guessing...but I've never heard stories of them writing messages on skin. There are also some cases of individuals manifesting things like that subconsciously...trying to get across some message. I'm not saying you are..just that it's another avenue that's interesting. I would suggest meditation but sometimes that's like opening a door you might not want someone entering...unless you're well protected by prayer first. I wouldn't do it by myself (chicken)
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Post by jcurio on Jan 19, 2019 18:16:37 GMT -6
I emailed the “picture” to myself some time ago.
This new internet duck thingy encourages tap a talk... which supposedly allows picture sharing through phones . ?
I have yet to see if I still have Skywalker s email to send him the pic; to post for me.
The way I see it, if I’m meant to “share the message”, I will be able to 🤗.
LAst but not least, I hope that others can see the “message”.
😉
This happened BEFORE I lost my dog to old age. I want to make that clear.
Because, as odd as this sounds, we are often told to “go with our first instinct”. (I had the weirdest feeling that this “message” was from my mainly deaf and blind toy poodle that I had been fussing over off and on all day 😲😁).
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Post by jcurio on Jan 19, 2019 18:34:40 GMT -6
So, if Skywalker has a way to post photos.... I will send it to his email. (Please pm me your email address, Skywalker 😊).
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 20, 2019 1:16:14 GMT -6
It is said that dogs often meet owners in heaven when they arrive.
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Post by jcurio on Jan 20, 2019 19:02:34 GMT -6
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Post by jcurio on Jan 24, 2019 9:35:54 GMT -6
That was a real “ugh”.
That “illuminutty” stuff can be depressing. It’s interesting for about one minute.
I find myself trying to figure out which parts could POSSIBLY be true. But so much disinformation. And that’s how they like it.
It inspires weird dreams. Dreams that seemingly have no relation to the topic. ?
A koi fish covered in black goo; barely alive (dream).
Dream this morning about beautiful fish in a nice clean, clear fish tank. Too many fish for the tank, but this wasn’t apparent until some fish flakes food was dropped in. As soon as the flakes dropped in, the fish were aggressive to get every last morsel. The bigger fish waywardly slamming into each other; smaller fish desperately trying to stay out of the way, and yet get a flake.
I was upset. Waiting to see the little fish accidentally gobbled up; yet that hadn’t happened either! I “fought” to wake up out of heavy sleep. Able to, but groggy for an hour.
Anybody want to take a stab at interpreting this??
😖😲🤣
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Post by jcurio on Jan 25, 2019 6:22:54 GMT -6
Psalm 33:10-12 King James Version (KJV)
10 The Lord bringeth the counsel of the heathen to nought: he maketh the devices of the people of none effect. ____________
Yesterday, this just popped up on my phone 🙂 (through an app I have installed that is called “pocket sword”). This app was not open. Pretty neat, huh?
Just the reassurance that I needed.
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Post by jcurio on Jan 25, 2019 6:35:22 GMT -6
It DOES make a difference in how I feel today (even with more weird dreams).
But, I gotta complain that it’s only 6 degrees this morning.
I have no idea how Lorelei functions daily in this ! 😖
Getting ready to put on my coveralls to go warm up the car (of course it’s sitting outside. And I remember Lore talking about putting jumper cables on her car at night).
I’m wrapped in blankets sitting by a gas fireplace (can’t wait to see the bill).
I’m warm. I have coffee. Food in the fridge. And running water to take a “bird bath” (as opposed to taking a shower this morning). Oooo, really lazy to not hop in the shower!.
Ugh. THis, is my “pity party” 😁🤣🤪
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 26, 2019 0:35:38 GMT -6
one fish dream (barely alive)....multiple fish fighting to stay alive...do you feel like you're 'smothering' or fighting to stay afloat? Usually fish dreams are fairly peaceful...the soft feel of the water....fluid...yours does seem to have a darker cast.
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Post by skywalker on Jan 26, 2019 6:36:33 GMT -6
My fish dreams have big teeth.
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Post by jcurio on Jan 26, 2019 10:38:26 GMT -6
I related those dreams to my “studying of the illuminutty” 😉🙄.
Like, fish is humanity living in a fish bowl 😖😢.
I’ve tried researching “black goo”. It has popped up in the last couple of years in movies like Spider-Man. I’ve had it occasionally in dreams; don’t recall the first time I did. But it is always oppressive.
Yes, I also think of fish in general as a “peaceful theme”.
(Except for sharks of course. But, I don’t think of them as fish).
Thanks for your responses!
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Post by jcurio on Jan 26, 2019 10:54:43 GMT -6
Another dream I had this week (oh welllll; forgetting I have a thread specifically for dreams.....) had my sister teaching a class on buffalo. Buffalo? Go figure
************
The “illuminutty” thing bothered me quite a bit, because it was talking about how “they” have learned to take US out of our bodies while we are dreaming. It is a very far out idea, taking our “astral bodies” and putting them in clones, for games and torture. But I often wonder about the content of my dreams..... especially when I “wake up” in a different body and don’t have any idea who I seem to be “hanging out with” 😖. Creepy stuff. This goes with the idea that some of the illuminutty are “aliens” in human clothing and have superior technology.
Something that I wouldn’t normally read about at bedtime 🤣.
The next two days I kept hearing strange, random noises, wherever I went (even a clients house 😲). Just weird thuds out of nowhere, or floors creaking. I finally went out to my car to pray and take a break, and that’s when that bible verse came up on my phone ! No more random noises the rest of the day!
______________
This is literally the only weirdness that I have had in my life lately.
Though today I would ask for prayer, because I am “agitated”. I have a lot of static buildup and dry skin. I’m getting ready to vacuum to rid myself of the “ringing in my ears”. Used to be that I would think this is an electronic attack??
Not anymore 😊😁
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 27, 2019 23:40:57 GMT -6
That's right Sky...I had forgotten you dream of sharks:( Big eyed threat...seems perfectly rational to me that your wee noggin would think of that.
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 27, 2019 23:48:59 GMT -6
I think the Illuminati thang of hauling an astral body out of sleep is pretty far fetched but imaginative...might make for a good book. Like the Freemasons getting this conspiracy rap they have...my husband WAS one they were just a bunch of guys getting together doing charity stuff and hanging out away from their wives....(female branch is the Order of the Eastern Star) They ARE a religious based organization. But because they have 'secret' ceremonies and levels that are hush hush they're suspect. Now you can see all of the rituals on line, actually. I think if we spend our lives looking for conspiracies...we will surely find them...then what? Aside from prayer (and it IS a mighty sword) can you protect your astral body from body robbers? We couldn't protect ourselves from alien abduction....so.........no we can't. If you find yourself in a place you don't recognize among strangers...go with the flow and keep right on praying.
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Post by jcurio on Jan 28, 2019 14:25:03 GMT -6
🤗
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Post by Princess Leia on Jan 30, 2019 22:07:38 GMT -6
It DOES make a difference in how I feel today (even with more weird dreams). But, I gotta complain that it’s only 6 degrees this morning. I have no idea how Lorelei functions daily in this ! 😖 Getting ready to put on my coveralls to go warm up the car (of course it’s sitting outside. And I remember Lore talking about putting jumper cables on her car at night). I’m wrapped in blankets sitting by a gas fireplace (can’t wait to see the bill). I’m warm. I have coffee. Food in the fridge. And running water to take a “bird bath” (as opposed to taking a shower this morning). Oooo, really lazy to not hop in the shower!. Ugh. THis, is my “pity party” 😁🤣🤪 Lorelei is used to it. She was born and raised in the subarctic. Currently- it is 18 degrees in her neck of the woods. This is a “heat wave” for this time of year. She told me her car got stuck in the ditch on her way to work yesterday (when it warms up there... it usually snows) and she called her boss for a ride to work. Before her boss arrived... she twisted her ankle slipping on ice. And fractured it. So... her boss took her to the ER instead of to work. She is now resting at home with a “boot” on her foot. And just now crawled up and down the stairs to (stupidly) do laundry she has informed me. Oh well. What bothered HER was when she lived in the South. It was dark and 80 degrees and it seriously bothered her. Majorly psychological disturbance causing insecure feelings. Because in the subarctic- dark=cold. Not warm. The subarctic has 24 hours of daylight in summer you see. It’s all a matter of what you’re used to. 😊
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Post by Princess Leia on Jan 30, 2019 22:14:50 GMT -6
By thr way... Lore says “NEVER pump gas without gloves on when it’s cold. The metal will give you frostbite, JC. Metal not only conducts heat. It conducts cold.” And she said “not jumper cables. Look up “winterized car” on google.”
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Post by jojustjo on Jan 31, 2019 0:58:11 GMT -6
I prefer winter to summer...but our winter would be a tropical summer to you guys LOL. It IS winter here and we're expecting rain and it's 60 degrees outside (11 at night)
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Post by Princess Leia on Feb 1, 2019 1:55:36 GMT -6
I prefer winter to summer...but our winter would be a tropical summer to you guys LOL. It IS winter here and we're expecting rain and it's 60 degrees outside (11 at night) 60 degrees? That’s springtime weather 👍 70-90 is summer. 40-60 is fall or early spring. Anything under 30 is winter. 😊
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Post by jojustjo on Feb 1, 2019 19:30:18 GMT -6
So says the Ice Maiden LOL
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