Post by plutronus on Mar 21, 2012 0:25:32 GMT -6
A couple of years ago I was returning home from an all night underground Burning Man community dance-party, yep I like to wear really outrageous threads and go down-town to the under-ground (non-permitted) dance-halls, to shake my a.s.s. all night to electronic musica with gal-pals. So its around 4:00am, I'm on Ventura Blvd, a large four lane boulevard down town Studio City California, there are no cars in either direction. I'm cruising along around 65mph listening to some electronica on my iPod and I was musing about how late it was and that I had not been drinking and what would happen if I were stropped by police and I see this little day-dream...I'm being questioned by two cops, one is asking me how much I've had to drink, "I've had nothing to drink sir. I don't drink and drive." I answer, the other cop asks, "how much have you had to smoke!?", I don't smoke pot sir, I have a secret clearance which I'd lose if they ever found out." And so went the little day-dream. As I'm driving along, I notice a big white Mercedes Benz pulling out of one of the all-nite Arab coffee-shops, parking lot along the boulevard. (its smoking hot in Arabia during the day...they are all night-owls and so they are here too). I'm cruising along around 65mph on the empty street, and I see the Benz stop at the light which I was turning yellow when I passed through the intersection. The light goes green and I see them accelerate and they are catching up fast. On Ventura Blvd there is a section that rises up and then on the other side rise it slopes downward and makes a sweeping 'right-turn', but unless you are right up on the top, you can't see the road below, so as I'm approaching the rise in the boulevard, I'm in the left lane, I glance in the mirror and I see the Benz behind me putting on his blinker to change lanes to move into the right lane to pass around me, I'm not going fast enough for them, but out in front of me on the Blvd, and below the rise rim, below the line-of-sight of the Benz behind me, in the middle of the street is a police car. It is parked diagonally catty-corner across both lanes? In my minds eye I see that if I stay in my lane I'll pass to the left of the police car ok, but the Benz will likely plow directly into the side of the cruiser, as Benz is going much faster than I am, so I changed lanes into the middle lane which caused the Benz to remain in the left lane, but I had to do slam on my brakes and do a power-slide right up to the side of the police car to keep them from getting smeared!! I stopped within five feet of the police car. All of sudden there's a pi.s.s.ed cop off yelling at me, "Get out of the car!", "How much you had to drink?! "I have had nothing to drink sir." And the other cop, "How much you smoked tonight?" "Nothing sir, I don't smoke pot." I'm out of the car, and they are both yelling at me. So I start trying to explain my action, "Did you see the white car? Did you see how fast they were going? I changed lanes to keep them from crashing into your car." I repeated it over and over until, the white cop, started listening. The Mexican cop was livid, he wanted blood. After a few tense minutes I was able to explain my actions, and then when things cooled down a bit, I asked them what the he.l.l. were they doing parked in the middle of the street like that? It turns out that they were chatting with a hooker.
plutronus
plutronus