Post by paulette on Jan 23, 2011 1:38:56 GMT -6
Here is a real story about a real "totally lost" memory. Mine. I am well aware of the theory that one can "dissociate" from taking in an overwhelming scene or (the brain people aren't so sure about this) put the memory somewhere other than where everyday memories usually go - perhaps because a flood of adrenaline and corisol (fight or flight hormones) interrupts moving memories from short to long term storage. And perhaps because it a protective reflex that allows us to not remember them (and be re-traumatized by them). This works UNTIL something happens close enough the the original event memory and we need to access those memories to see if there is anything useful to apply to the current situation. OK, enough theory.
I was working as a counsellor and had done some personal counselling prior to and during my schooling and wrote letters and researched my past and thought I knew pretty well everything significant that I needed to know.
I was standing in a coffee room at work, with a cup of steaming coffee in my hand and a co-worker said something like, "You wouldn't BELIEVE what happened to me last night. I was watching TV and saw red and blue flashing lights through the window and walked outside. In front of my house, a guy had had a car accident and was bleeding and wandering around in the street. I went in the house and got a clean tea towel and gave it to him. They took him away in the ambulance."
At this moment I realized that everyone's attention had shifted from her story to me. I had just dropped a full cup of hot coffee on the floor and was unaware that I had done so. I was instantly transported back to a time and a memory which I absolutely knew was true.
My parents liked to travel (without me). They left me with various people from an early age. One of these families was a German couple who lived in a small town away from our small town (Wisconsin). She made and decorated cakes for extra money and I got to lick bowls. There weren't many cakes in my own home and I liked staying with them. That was story I was told and that I remembered as well. However, when her son (they had two teenaged sons at home when I stayed there) named his newborn daughter my name (Paulette) I remembered having felt irrationally angry about that. Why? They had been so nice to me! (my mother's voice here)
When my co-worker spoke about the car accident I suddenly remembered that I was allowed to go on car rides with the boys (without their parents present). Often this would be to go get an ice cream or something like that.
What I never told and never understood was that they were ambulance chasers. They would drive like a bat out of *heck* to get to an accident before it got dealt with. I don't remember SEEING anyone dead or disfigured. I think they told me to stay in the car. But it was a sick scene, with high excitement and yelling (Stay Back) and then they would leisurely drive back home (and maybe buy me an ice cream or some distraction). The whole thing played out at least twice. I remember staring at the mirrored balls (now popular again) that farmers used to have on the ends of their long driveways. They were beautiful. I grabbed at that beauty and tried to forget the rest. But obviously not forever.
That is called a triggered memory. That is why maybe people imagine that what they read here happened to them. But maybe their own experiences surface after years. It may also be why, when in a relaxed trance state, assured of safety and having an authoritative adult nearby, that one allows oneself to remember.
(I hear jjflash saying in my head here - where's the PROOF! What scientific study are you quoting? Who exactly has researched lost memories!!!
I'll answer that one here: John Bierre and Judith Herman. They contacted persons who had been in an emergency room in Cal. for a traumatic injury 10 years before. They asked them if they had been in the hospital and if so - why? A significant % - 30% comes to mind - swore they had never been in the hospital.
Now some of these folks perhaps didn't want to talk about the incident. That was criticism of their studies. But all 30%? I don't think so. Why not remember that one fell out of a tree and had a broken arm? These weren't child abuse cases. They were run of mill emergency room - stitches, broken bones, etc.
I think a lot of high strangeness might be more common that we think. We here, at least partially remember.
I was working as a counsellor and had done some personal counselling prior to and during my schooling and wrote letters and researched my past and thought I knew pretty well everything significant that I needed to know.
I was standing in a coffee room at work, with a cup of steaming coffee in my hand and a co-worker said something like, "You wouldn't BELIEVE what happened to me last night. I was watching TV and saw red and blue flashing lights through the window and walked outside. In front of my house, a guy had had a car accident and was bleeding and wandering around in the street. I went in the house and got a clean tea towel and gave it to him. They took him away in the ambulance."
At this moment I realized that everyone's attention had shifted from her story to me. I had just dropped a full cup of hot coffee on the floor and was unaware that I had done so. I was instantly transported back to a time and a memory which I absolutely knew was true.
My parents liked to travel (without me). They left me with various people from an early age. One of these families was a German couple who lived in a small town away from our small town (Wisconsin). She made and decorated cakes for extra money and I got to lick bowls. There weren't many cakes in my own home and I liked staying with them. That was story I was told and that I remembered as well. However, when her son (they had two teenaged sons at home when I stayed there) named his newborn daughter my name (Paulette) I remembered having felt irrationally angry about that. Why? They had been so nice to me! (my mother's voice here)
When my co-worker spoke about the car accident I suddenly remembered that I was allowed to go on car rides with the boys (without their parents present). Often this would be to go get an ice cream or something like that.
What I never told and never understood was that they were ambulance chasers. They would drive like a bat out of *heck* to get to an accident before it got dealt with. I don't remember SEEING anyone dead or disfigured. I think they told me to stay in the car. But it was a sick scene, with high excitement and yelling (Stay Back) and then they would leisurely drive back home (and maybe buy me an ice cream or some distraction). The whole thing played out at least twice. I remember staring at the mirrored balls (now popular again) that farmers used to have on the ends of their long driveways. They were beautiful. I grabbed at that beauty and tried to forget the rest. But obviously not forever.
That is called a triggered memory. That is why maybe people imagine that what they read here happened to them. But maybe their own experiences surface after years. It may also be why, when in a relaxed trance state, assured of safety and having an authoritative adult nearby, that one allows oneself to remember.
(I hear jjflash saying in my head here - where's the PROOF! What scientific study are you quoting? Who exactly has researched lost memories!!!
I'll answer that one here: John Bierre and Judith Herman. They contacted persons who had been in an emergency room in Cal. for a traumatic injury 10 years before. They asked them if they had been in the hospital and if so - why? A significant % - 30% comes to mind - swore they had never been in the hospital.
Now some of these folks perhaps didn't want to talk about the incident. That was criticism of their studies. But all 30%? I don't think so. Why not remember that one fell out of a tree and had a broken arm? These weren't child abuse cases. They were run of mill emergency room - stitches, broken bones, etc.
I think a lot of high strangeness might be more common that we think. We here, at least partially remember.