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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2013 12:56:57 GMT -6
And I don't blame you, honey. Please know I'm on your side. I remember saying out loud so many times, "Dad, this is your one and only life that we know of. There is pain, yes, but so much beauty. Can't you find some joy in living...in the fact that you are loved?" But it has just been too hard for him. To give him the great respect he is due, he didn't drink past when I was a toddler. He knew he wanted to be a responsible family man. And in terms of violence and irresponsibility, he did much better than his father and step father. He just didn't have the tools to make things work and had no idea how to get them, so he was a "dry drunk" with all the rage and ugliness that comes with that. Now that he has Parkinson's there have been some very, very touching moments between us: he can't hardly speak anymore and he's more depressed than ever, but when I'm there he will silently, tremblingly reach out to hold my hand and just look at me with tenderness.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2013 14:11:40 GMT -6
I seek freedom. Though I had a few problems of my own when I was younger, I do not want any thing controlling me. To be fully human we must not be under the influence of anything. Alcohol is one of the worst drugs to get trapped by. TV and Video games can also suck a soul in and leave an empty life. It takes a strong spirit and much awareness to draw the lines. I have never had an alcohol problem, so I can drink a beer after cutting the grass on a hot day and enjoy it. There are three beers in the fridge from last year. I have other friends who have drowned in it. Anything in excess is out of balance. We have to each find our own weaknesses and deal with them. We all have our things that we use to dull ourselves, but when I recognize one, it becomes my enemy and I break free. My philosophy is to increase consciousness and awareness in all aspects of life as much as possible. We want to help others, but every person has to do their own work. We just need to love others and know that they walk in their own shoes and choose their own path. By living as fully free human beings as we are able to and sharing time non-judgmentally, sometimes we are a help and comfort. My humbleness lets me know that I have things to work on that I am not even seeing at this point in time and others that I am struggling with. Our feelings and emotions arise, we cannot stop that, but our reaction and attachment to them is our own. Wise words, Sunbow. I'm trying to walk in balance as well...
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Post by Deleted on Apr 14, 2013 14:50:50 GMT -6
I think Sky...we have been chimps in a lab. I haven't resorted to booze yet. Sometimes I think we humans tend to 'over' think things. We need embellishments..and fancy titles because..if it seems too simple..it can't be right. I think..it's all pretty basic. Ask for what you want and need and believe it will happen. When it is time to learn something..or know something..that's when we'll know it
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Post by dawnoftime on Apr 15, 2013 10:39:54 GMT -6
If I was a chimp in a lab I would probably become an alcoholic too. YES! When I was working in a language project I had a chimp ask me why he wasn't free. I think given what many of us have been through, it is amazing that we aren't more dysfunctional that we are. I know some people think we're crazy, but they have no idea how crazy we SHOULD be!
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