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Post by jcurio on Jul 4, 2019 11:54:13 GMT -6
As a “finish” to that story..... I was in the apartment of a client (with him layed up in a recliner) who died a few short weeks later. He couldn’t see what happened to me from his angle (tiny apartment) but heard a very loud noise of me, and I got right up and told him “I was fine”... that the noise was the table falling.... how would I have EXPLAINED this “accident” to his family, or my boss?? (Strict job RULE to not even change a light bulb or a clock battery- ANYTHING getting up on the smallest of step stools not allowed!)... oh my goodness! This WAS funny!
I KNEW that he “was dying”. No one else seemed to know, except maybe the hospital, because every time he insisted on leaving the hospital, they asked him “are you ready to go on hospice?” then?”.... so I had started “grieving”..... talked about him a little bit with my mom (in private)....
His death still hurt so bad (tears still come easily; even right now). And it’s notjust because this is my “first death” on the job...
~sigh~ I’m sorry. Sorry said, because this guy had THE BEST POSITIVE ATTITUDE.... I SHOULD be able to tell you more details, because he is now passed on, but I just can’t.
I worked 8 hours a week for him, for 10 months, and have no regrets. It was a joy to work for him, and he had a very sedentary life. Never acted bored...
He gave me his “one plant”. A rhodanderon (?) vine that we watched grow in front of his one window, the one small growth he brought from his home at the lake, when his family made him leave that home.... ~sigh~ it was perfectly natural for the family to offer me that plant... they had no room for it or even wanted it.... and they have no idea what it meant to him.... if course....
Yeah. I’m blessed that God has made me SO AWARE of the little things...
Here it is, 2 weeks later, and I just told my boss that I’m ready for another client... I have “a new one” next week.. know nothing about the “new one”; not even the gender, or address.... life goes on.
Yeah. I got to tell the man who died “good-bye”. In my own way. Without letting anyone else know.... even him... that “I knew”. A blessing. A hard one.
He was in a care center for rehab and not even in my care when he passed. But, I went and saw him. He “thought” he would be going back to his apartment in a few weeks.... and the apartment was still waiting for him...
~sigh~
He is no longer suffering (though he denied ANY suffering).
I know I will see him again 😉😊
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 4, 2019 23:00:14 GMT -6
Well dear...redemption can be a blessing LOL. I did that a few years back...fell backwards off a ladder and through a glass top coffee table. Shattered the table..acquired a few bruises but lived to be shamefaced at my stupidity LOL
My husband's lingering illness and death were similar except he wasn't often conscious and seldom ever conscious of anything around him when he was awake. I think that taught me things...I can't quite process. For a time it ripped chunks out of my very soul I think...but who can go through being with someone in that way without being touched by it? You are a special lady with a lot of courage and so much to give. He was fortunate he had you.
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Post by jcurio on Jul 5, 2019 8:31:40 GMT -6
Oh yes! Redemption IS a mighty blessing! 🤗
My “not calling myself blessed” is my own form of humility😘. So aware of the many, many people who don’t FEEL blessed.
I’m SO very grateful for everything! Even these little aches and pains I have every morning 🤣.
Grateful for a good nights’ sleep. And NOT REMEMBERING my dreams. Ahhh, that is new. I wake up in the middle of sleep with some stooopid dream on my mind, go back to sleep, and wake up later knowing I dreamed, and woke up, but I don’t remember the dream. Yay!
Small comforts. Who needs “dreams” torturing them?! I do believe (know) that there are times when “dreams” are put to my brain by some sort of “artificial means”. Whomevers technology it is, I have no idea.
Again, why would any humans have an extended interest in me?
If some THING, feeds on our emotions, THAT would be more likely....
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 5, 2019 10:03:25 GMT -6
I believe there ARE things that feed on negative emotions. I refuse to be grateful for aches and pains...nope no way...no how. I'd be very grateful for the absence of such though LOL. As for dreams...well I don't mind those..when I have them they're very entertaining and certainly nothing I'd orchestrate. I'd go for fairylands..or wonderlands or amazing planets. Last night's troubles me some. I thought at first..it was someone I know asking me to catalog something about their daughter's life. In the form of a rectangular chunk of clay....and a daisy in the corner. In retrospect...I think I was seeing a tombstone. I've been concerned for this person...but this was/is a bit of a whammy because in the light of day..it feels very real. When my husband went through his life shut down...I dealt with it..I had hospice help and believe me they are worth their weight in gold....when I said it seemed to take chunks out of my soul...I seem to have lost any 'psychic' anything...but I have a feeling it's back and this is the first time I've seen something this graphic.
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Post by jcurio on Jul 5, 2019 23:30:27 GMT -6
Yeah, it makes me laugh at my psi. 🙄😩🤪
I know what gender a baby is before it is born.
And I know when someone is about to die.
Is it only some cruel joke? (right now)
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 6, 2019 8:44:44 GMT -6
'shocked look' I didn't know that! You and I share the baby gender thing. People always bugged me for that...what's it going to be?? I just knew. I haven't the death knowledge though....
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Post by jcurio on Jul 8, 2019 4:34:28 GMT -6
Death knowledge is very iffy...... BECAUSE it can be changed by prayer. One of those things that “foreknowledge is forewarned” 😉.
Being thankful for morning aches and pains? It means I’m waking up and able to get out of bed 😃.
The last three nights I have been “plagued” with bad dreams. Horrible stuff.
Woke up this morning from a dream in which eight bodies were interred (in coffins, no less) in the foundations of a new building. Then I “saw” a grade-school-age kid get shot in the back of a van, his body dumped, and covered with leaves and branches (very makeshift grave). He was some sort of mule. 😩
Kind of easy to get up this morning....
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Post by jcurio on Jul 8, 2019 4:52:02 GMT -6
The “dreams”, I blame on either the antibiotic I’m on, or my recent church fellowship.
I know that just sounds wrong 🤪. But I’ve been involved in Bible study with people all weekend. Friday night, Saturday morning, and Sunday morning. This is how it is with me..... I get in my Bible with people, and it’s definitely like something wants to discourage that.... it DOES work; a tiny bit. I would be lying if I couldn’t admit that.
It’s not that I wake up fearful that I’m “under some sort of spiritual attack”. All fear is gone (as soon as I wake up). This morning was before daylight and I walk around in the dark- no fear.
It’s more of a nuisance. AND, I wake up thinking “I’ve been studying my Bible too much lately” (😄 theres no such thing!). Seriously?
No premonition quality to these dreams, either. Just disturbing.
This week we (my church fellowship) has church camp for 4 days in a row. I’m reminded to pray that other people don’t have these problems with their sleep, and other areas of their lives. No foolin’. One of my friends has been preparing some rooms for an incoming missionary family, and though she does it with joy, I can see her “stress”.
Yes, I’m this much into my church fellowship. Still.
I’m sorry that I don’t talk about it more!
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Post by jcurio on Jul 8, 2019 5:06:32 GMT -6
I will share part of a recent testimony.... what it means to me. If you get something else out of it, that’s ok.
A husband and wife visited this past winter. I was a hit and miss seeing them at church because of me missing church with my dad’s frequent hospital visits. I missed seeing them; wondered how they were doing; etc. I had talked with the woman twice.
The man talked yesterday about what they have gone through this past year. 😲. Troubling stuff.
The important thing, is he was really questioning his faith in God. In anything. His wife and kids had gone to church over the years, but he had not. In the midst of his seeking, he ran into a couple of guys from our fellowship sitting in a coffee shop, miles and miles from our church. They had Bibles open, and he went right up to them and started asking questions. Whoa! This rarely happens (I’m to understand).
So, when I met them this past winter, they were just “trying us out”. So many things have happened since then! (There’s good And well, the weirdly bad 🤣).
My wish for all of You, is that you could “find” a church that preaches and lives the Bible. !!
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Post by jcurio on Jul 8, 2019 5:16:30 GMT -6
And, that comes with a warning. Some weird things MAY happen to you.
It’s a journey. Before I started this journey AGAIN, as an adult, I prayed and made a conscious decision to “not be offended” and “TRY, not offend anyone”.
My expectations were high (because of Jesus). Low expectations because of people in general. Bad attitude, I know. But A “sensitive” like me.... most necessary. I still get “hurt” by people. I’m sure that I’ve caused some issues myself.
But I’m so glad I tried it again.
I knew that I couldn’t live without Jesus.
I thought I could get by without sharing Jesus with others.
Just goes to show.... that my thoughts can be really dumb.
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 9, 2019 9:48:57 GMT -6
This is that place where you and I don't so much agree. To me a fellowship of people is magnifying their opinions and emotions (groups tend to do that and sensitives receive) not everyone in church is thinking of Jesus..I know this. To me...God and Jesus have to be found in your own heart...sought after..nourished and treasured there. They are not in the bible...although many wise words are there and stories...they have to be first in you...then shared. It often seems to me that people expect the bible to tell them how they should feel...act...or think...I think it was meant to be a guideline. Look these people existed...look at what they accomplished...behave to others as you wish them to be to you...don't steal or lie or kill or worship false gods (I take that to me statues and books)...be true to yourself and live a respectable life..because...you're going to eventually wish you had. Groups of people...good and bad...do magnify everything. My husband's little brother broke his leg and doctors didn't want to give pain killers until they knew there was nothing internal but he was in horrible pain...Mormon missionaries came into the room (6 I think) joined hands and in short order he was out of pain. Witches have covens for the same reason...for healing...spell casting etc. More is stronger...better..if you have foccus. If everyone is holding hands praying over one person with the same prayer...that is strong medicine. If they are scattered in their thoughts thinking about their painful ingrown toenail or what is for sunday dinner...not so much is accomplished. I see your dreams as one of two things. Either the group emotion thing has boosted your psychic abilities and you're having real visions...or it's a warning to maybe take a trip into the wilderness (metaphorically speaking) to find what's inside of you. Worked for Jesus when things got too cluttered for him. Because...the very best messages I've ever been given were when I was alone out in the air...mind open and receiving. Everything in nature from rocks to trees...has an energy all of it's own but that energy is pure...trees aren't thinking conflicting thoughts....so the energy around you in nature is uplifting, wholesome. Sometimes people just aren't. Mind you I have a little experience. My grandmother was a very religious soul....she was always in church...clutching her bible...first at communion. I knew her thoughts though...I knew her behind closed doors..and she was bigoted and mean spirited and controlling..not a Jesus honor student...trust me...and I know the same of others. Take a walk along a beach or better yet in a forest...especially at sunset...or sunrise...magic happens. Apologies ahead of time...I do not mean to knock what you believe...just stick my own in there on occasion
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Post by jcurio on Jul 11, 2019 9:10:15 GMT -6
Oh yeah! I hear you, friend! 😘
And I don’t take You at all as, say, “worshipping Nature”.
We can worship ~ IN ~ Nature. 😊
God is everywhere. But in Nature, He is so obvious.
A person doesn’t have to do much “searching” for Him, in the presence of His Artwork.
Just a little slice of Heaven....
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 11, 2019 9:37:03 GMT -6
glad someone gets me LOL
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Post by jcurio on Jul 14, 2019 8:20:56 GMT -6
Well, I am of the opinion that I am being “refreshed” of my past.
It is irritating to say the least. Because I have forgotten so much; who wants to be reminded?
I don’t want to be someone ALWays looking at my past. So, I’m trying to “use” these nightly dreams to rid myself of “things” ~haunting~ me.
For example, was I the least bit “proud”, that sometimes material things would get knocked off walls (or shelves) when I expressed anger? Did I want some special power ? This is wrong. It is vain. What I thought was a “harmless wish” to be able to protect myself, or get my opinion across.... was stupid. But tolerated.
I see myself as a child of God. We all are. 😊
There are things that it is “ok” to wish for 😉. But asking for my “own personal power”, especially in the realm of anger, I can see now, as “inviting” something in, that is NOT of God.
GOD, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, can help me with my anger. (BTW, including anger at myself). Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. I’ve seen THIS happen many times... He is trustable. True to His promises.
I bring this up as an example of how we, as simple humans, can unknowingly “invite” the wrong kind of spirit into our lives. We claim that we would never do this!
IMO, it’s as simple as a person wanting to see a ufo. It SOUNDS so harmless. And maybe it is.... but this is just ONE example. I am amazed at the people who claim that they have never seen a “ufo” or experienced a supernatural phenomenon. Ask them, if they ever recall their dreams?
Of course, there are people like me, that feeling repressed or oppressed may wish that they had more personal power. We’d consider that normal, right?
My anger, at one time in my life, was out of control. It near consumed me, and that’s not how I want to live. I don’t think any one should choose to live this way.... and it WAS a choice.
Obviously, I repent of this choice. 🙂 Not all my anger was justified, and it does me good to admit this. From this admittance, I do expect some changes in my dream patterns. By the Grace of God.
Jesus Christ made a way for us to be forgiven of past sins. He gives us the desire to not repeat them.
I’m not asking anyone here, on TEOR, to make mincemeat of my thoughts on this matter..... it is what it is. This sin of mine, wanting to have “power” with my anger, has the potential to hurt people, and to hurt myself (eventually). No, I don’t believe that I have hurt anyone, but I repent of my selfishness.
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 14, 2019 9:44:36 GMT -6
Well, put another way...no one wants to feel 'powerless'. Didn't you say you have a very turbulent marriage? I've had some pride..for lack of a better word...in some of the things I can see..but I also figure that if we have 'gifts' they're from God and he wouldn't give them without thought. Not so much 'gifts' but a part of the individual make up of the person. I think of this stuff as just a part of me. When it is working..isn't always at my beck and call...but usually to get a message across to someone else. Doesn't EVER work for me personally other than simple glimpses ahead from my tarot. Again if God had issue with that...wouldn't work and I always pray before I use. LOL sounds like some drug situation 'before I use'.
I've been caught up in the 'past' thing..and figured there was something I needed to confront from the past that is affecting my 'now' or my future. Incidents with my parents reach out a lot...a lot of turmoil but mostly that even as a child I turned to God because there wasn't anyone else and that is when I started relating to him on the child to parent level..that I still use often today. Father, mentor, friend....not all powerful spooky angry or vengeful God...I don't know that guy. So while I agree you can't get stuck in the past and fail to live today...if it's nailing your dreams there is something there you need to find. Something that is affecting your 'now'. I really 'feel' there's something you need to face or confront that maybe you wouldn't before. I have a tendency to 'skate' over things that are too disturbing to me...maybe you do too?
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Post by paulette on Jul 14, 2019 11:28:52 GMT -6
" to tell the man who died “good-bye”. In my own way. Without letting anyone else know.... even him... that “I knew”. A blessing. A hard one.
This was a powerful sentence for me to read. This is perhaps the goal of Buddhism (if Buddhism can be said to have a "goal." But everyone we meet however briefly or profoundly - we may never see again. Those of us who realize this say goodbye with an open heart over and over.
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 14, 2019 21:57:43 GMT -6
That is a very tender sentence..and perfect
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Post by jcurio on Jul 16, 2019 4:51:15 GMT -6
But everyone we meet however briefly or profoundly - we may never see again. Those of us who realize this say goodbye with an open heart over and over. Read more: theedgeofreality.proboards.com/thread/1418/who-simplistic-solutions-jc?page=109#ixzz5tpuPciFz*********** It’s also about learning to never “hate good-byes”. (Wow. I find myself using the word “never” a lot lately. Hopefully it is seen in a positive light 😃). The “open heart”? Sounds great on here.... makes me sound good; all that. It’s also very vulnerable. To NOT regularly show your feelings. But to save them for later; when you are all alone. Of course, we are never really alone. (THAT word again 😊❤️).
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Post by jojustjo on Jul 16, 2019 23:17:27 GMT -6
Never can be pretty positive And an open heart is not a bad thing either. You might open yourself to being hurt by someone but on the other hand you can't experience life with a closed heart (and soul). I hate showing my pain..to the extent I wouldn't let anyone in with me when I had my kids or come see me when I had the heart surgery. I'm selfish in that respect...my body demands heal time and for me that means sleep...almost coma sleep LOL. But I'm slowly learning to let others share my pain and not wince when grabbed up in a hug (my family was not huggy). My son who died was the exception...the best ever hugs and I miss those...and he never left without saying I love you...something I treasure and learning from it..I learned that while I might not need the hugs...the person hugging does...and that is very important to me. It's second nature to me to think of others first and let God do the thinking after me...always has worked. I think you're doing just great JC...we're here to evolve...grow...and learn. Thanks for sharing the journey.
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Post by jcurio on Aug 1, 2019 6:43:06 GMT -6
I’m having some “trouble” posting.....
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Post by jcurio on Aug 1, 2019 6:47:34 GMT -6
I’ll blame the problem posting on myself.... but.... this is definitely the second time a post that I KNOW I MADE, is gone.
I’m not blaming anyone on our TEOR team 🤗.
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Post by jcurio on Aug 1, 2019 6:54:01 GMT -6
In the past, it was obvious that I was experiencing trouble posting, WHILE I was posting. Hard to get on here, hard to save, etc.
Of course, I have to look at the copywrite laws being brought up AGAIN, by our government.....if Im doing any cutting and pasting. 😊
You all know by now, that “bots” are attuned to that sort of thing.... it was only a matter of time. 😲🙃
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Post by jcurio on Aug 1, 2019 6:58:46 GMT -6
Ah well..... I was always trying to let everyone know that I was commenting on someone elses’ thoughts.....
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Post by jcurio on Aug 1, 2019 7:36:35 GMT -6
I’m watching the news this morning with my mom 😊.
Across the bottom of the screen are “other” news. It just said that a particular politician is looking to limit the amount of time that people can be on social media.
And just how will they do that? 😲🙄
(As if we need the alternative.... ONLY hearing about latest violence? Or the weather?)
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Post by skywalker on Aug 1, 2019 19:33:50 GMT -6
When it comes to social media and the internet i think the cat is out of the bag and the genie is out of the bottle. Neither of them are going to go back in willingly. The only way to limit or control it would be total government control which I’d probably what they wanted all along:
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Post by jcurio on Aug 2, 2019 20:54:39 GMT -6
True that.....
“slip sliding away.....” our freedoms.
People BETTER BE mindful of ANYTHING that they complain about
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Post by jcurio on Aug 2, 2019 21:03:55 GMT -6
.... and that does NOT mean that I am a “sheeple”.
Their tactic is often pretended disinterest. “Give someone a long enough rope and they will hang themselves” ??
But also, COMPLAINTS are expected. It’s how they say they are fixing those complaints is what is questionable.....
Pretended disinterest? By that, I mean changing the subject or bringing on a “new” distraction
I’ve got so many things that I’d like to say on this particular topic....
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Post by jojustjo on Aug 3, 2019 22:58:01 GMT -6
I truly don't think anyone is censoring TEOR...there are many larger fish to fry elsewhere...and bots are geared to pick up threat words of the sort terrorists would use. As for the feds...back when 911 happened..I was playing a LOT of online spades. One of the guys I would play against now and then...mentioned we was from Iran, living in New York. A full week before the world trade destruction he came on line playing with some new names. Nasdaq down 5000....Up in Smoke....Airplane better than bullet. Then...911 and I got the creepiest feeling...I knew he knew ahead of time. when he came back those names were gone except...too bad so sad. I tried and tried to call and email and write the FBI who NEVER bothered to contact me. For all I know they did go look into the guy..I gave them what information that they had online. I wasn't the only one who noticed..pretty soon he left no one would play with him. So yep I'm sure they'd worry about a little UFO site that is 99 percent cut and paste old articles. Don't mind me...depressed moment in time..and a really bad memory
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Post by paulette on Aug 4, 2019 1:03:24 GMT -6
That's a wild story. Playing a card game with perhaps a terrorist, or at least someone who had advance knowledge of the 911 attack. I assume that someone somewhere is monitoring TEOR (and is very bored).
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Post by jojustjo on Aug 4, 2019 9:04:20 GMT -6
I don't think people monitor the sites...too much else to do but robots are programmed to pick up 'suspicious' chatter then the humans will take a look. I'd be more inclined to think they'd monitor conspiracy sites than sites like this one. After all..in the great bucket of life..we're only a drop or two LOL
Yes..the card thing really threw me for a loop. Online you can meet anyone and not know who/what they are. This guy was really friendly...had great English (well we educated him over here)...and was personable. I figure he was part of a cell and young enough to want to 'brag'. Some of the plane jackers were trained in the San Diego area I heard...went to flight school.
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