Paulette's Dreaming

[paulette]

On Thursday morning I got a call from work and before I even responded I had a strong sense that 1. It involved a critical incident on the North end of the island I live on and 2. I would go (although I often refuse such assignments in the winter) and 3. It would be personally significant to me.

Sure enough - a death in an isolated pulp company town - that I had never been to before. A drive of 3 hours down a winding highway and then 45 minutes off the highway through dark woods to the small town of 400 people.

I went. I didn't question whether I should do - I went.

A man who worked at the plant died (and it was determined by his own hand). His co-workers were stunned. Some had known him for over 25 years..

I had in my college years lost three lovers to suicide. I knew as a counsellor what to do but more importantly I had first hand knowledge of what is actually useful and what is not. (Telling people how they SHOULD get through it is not). Telling them that I could hear that the person had had a lot of friends and community and was not alone (even though troubled) was.

I drove through sleet and snow (and I am a wuzz about winter driving). I drove back on a dry highway and good-enough conditions.

I almost left my wallet on the top of my vehicle - I had stopped for gas and was having trouble locking the locking gas cap and threw my wallet on the roof. (not advisable). I then decided that although I had pulled off wanting a snack at the restaurant I would not bother. I THEN FOUND MYSELF parking my car around the corner at the restaurant and noticing my wallet on top- already sliding to the edge. I had a burrito, let the unpleasant truck driver who had almost forced me off the road get well gone and didn't have to deal with the wallet incident.

In short - I felt guided to be there and taken care of for the trouble it took to do so.

For which I am very grateful. (and I made some money for which I am also grateful.)

[paulette]

Every once in a while I have a dream that "sticks" with me into my waking reality. The last posting I did was a feeling of being guided (and making myself available to do a critical incident debriefing).

I'm going to put this up because I am interested to see if we (here) have dream themes or similar dreams in the same time frame.

My dream this am was an ominous one although I extracted myself from the worst of it.

I was back in time - university but for whatever reason I seem to bring a baby or two back there with me (I did not have children while in university). Maybe to make it even harder!

I had saved money for college and my parents contributed the lions share. There were no student loans when I went to school. My father was an astute businessman and had put money aside. HOWEVER. He doled out what he thought I could live on. I attribute my overeating and also hoarding of things like clothes and cans of beans (bought on sale of course) to these years. I did not buy new clothing. I did not eat in restaurants. I rode a bicycle to classes - miles through the city and even after I graduated I rode a bicycle to work (with my white uniform in a bag in my basket). I didn't even go to thrift stores. We were very comfortably middle class. My parents traveled - across the US and also to Europe. They bought their clothing in stores that sold new clothing. They bought a new car every 4 years and traded the old one in. I never really questioned this until this am.

In the dream I was with a dream mother and father although they didn't appear anything like my real ones (who have dead for 26 years). My father had prepared a cake - he told me I would probably die after I ate it. I was incredibly shocked. I woke up shocked. Basically, I forgot the exact dialogue - they didn't want to support me and hoped I would die. My Mom looked sad but powerless (a true portrayal).

My father was a powerful man in our family. He threw my brother out of the house when he was 16 and dropped out of high school. He refused to let my mother send him anything. He did not let me know that my brother was writing me letters. My brother and I later found them in a storage until after he died and I read them 25 years later.

When I came to Canada, the official statement was - don't ask us for help. My Mom managed to withhold 200$ from the grocery money allotted her and sent me a money order. This was an amazing act of defiance on her part. The money allowed me to hang on until I got work. (For awhile I lived in someone's cabin on honey and potatoes).

In the dream, I looked at the cake and at him and said, "Well I WON'T eat it!" And that seemingly was all I had to do to break the spell. He couldn't make me.

I think that at least one interpretation is that I was a rebel to his life style and expectations and he really didn't care what happened to me if I was going to not get married and not get a steady job. (Which I did not do until I was 48! I mean I worked but then, I didn't work for awhile...) I don't have to "eat" the fact of his old displeasure - and he's dead, so only the lingering self displeasure of old tapes that tell me I'm not doing enough, I never amounted to anything, etc etc. They did seem to love their grandchildren (and they visited us here in Canada).

I'm dealing with this stuff because due to world changes, I'm being nudged to the edge of the herd of my profession. The contracts go to the younger ones and I (who have NEVER knock on wood had a professional reprimand or even a bad evaluation) am down to two part days a week of work (From 7 days a week 3 years ago). If earning money is the only important thing, then I might as well eat the poison cake.

I don't think so.

[Deleted]

When I was young, my parents divorced, suffice it to say if they had stayed together they would have killed each other. My father got custody of my sisters and I and eventually he remarried a woman with money. Making a long gruesome story shorter, when my two sisters got married they had 'help' down payments on their houses, and before that money for college. My middle sister married my stepmothers son so naturally she was golden. Well time can play amazing tricks..by the time I got to the point of needing college money darned if she hadn't divorced him and I was very much on my own. I am working toward a point here Paulette ;D. What I notice the MOST about you in here is that you are a very determined individual. You persist until you get your answers and if someone isn't as 'clear' as you need for them to be you absolutely pursue it. I wonder if you would be this remarkable determined soul (sort of as I am) if more had been 'handed' to you. I'm not sure either of us would be as resourceful as we are if we hadn't learned how to survive with less. I wonder if I'd have liked you nearly as much had you been the person you might have become

[Arctic Amazon]

Very interesting dream paulette. Would you be interested in starting a dream journal thread like skywalker and I have done?

[paulette]

Sure - maybe this thread just needs renaming... thanks Arctic Amazon (great name!)

[sansseed]

Wow, Paulette. That is fascinating, and yet, telling. I think you might be on the right road with your interpretation. I have also been having dreams about my father, but nothing like yours. We had, for the most part, a very positive relationship, and my dreams revolve around us going back to when he was feeling better (he is currently ailing and needs a great deal of medical assistance). Even though we are back in time, I know that it isn't real and things aren't right.

[paulette]

To everyone who responded thanks. Jokelly your assessment of me as a human is very generous and I think my friends that I visit with in person would agree with you. This confirms to me that we do get to know each other here. Of course, a person can be intentionally hiding or fabricating who they are (they can do that face to face as well). But the connection I have here is very important to me and, I think, to others here as well.

Sansseed - your father's body is wearing out but the positive relationship you had and how you feel about him in your heart is real. You will take that with you even after he is gone. I did forgive and see that my parents were doing what they felt they had to do, and my kids are now talking to their counsellor (one anyway) about the job I did. Keeping the best and letting go of the old stuff (including having a parent that becomes dependent or even demented) is our life task.

I had a client who took a driving trip one summer with her husband who was fading due to dementia. It was going to be challenging and their last road trip. I asked her why - given that he wouldn't remember where they had gone or what they had done. "I'll remember" she simply said.

[skywalker]

Memories are all we have left when our loved ones are gone, but as long as we remember them they will live inside of us forever.

[paulette]

This video is about different kinds of groups. The lowest level of groupdom is: Life Sucks, the highest is Life is wonderful (and we can make changes that enhance that). That sounds trivial but it is worth watching and I thought of this merry group of pranksters/seekers as I watched it the first time. 16 minute investment. Love to here your comments.

www.wimp.com/triballeadership/

[Deleted]

Very interesting video paulette. It reminds me of a lecture done by my former anthropology professor at the university... she never lectured on anything quite so interesting however.

The grocery store I work at would be a stage 2 tribe, "My life sucks".

An example: when I punched out for the day in the break room a couple weeks ago. I said, "I'm FREE! I"m FREE!" and everyone looked up at me, then I said, "... freedom... not to be confused with financial independence!" And everyone laughed and agreed with me in their own depressed way.

I think all of us here on the forum however would be a stage four personally... that is my assessment.

[Morgan Sierra]

Feb 3, 2011 1:02:01 GMT -6 paulette said:

Sure - maybe this thread just needs renaming... thanks Arctic Amazon (great name!)

Would you like for me to rename this thread, Paulette? Maybe change it to "Paulette's Dream Journal" or something like that? What would you like for it to be called?

[paulette]

I'm so ADD that I can't stay on topic on my or anyone's else's thread. Call it Paulette's dreaming if you like. (Having said this, I probably won't remember any dream for the next 6 months). Last couple nights I've kept company with dead people - and I know they're dead in the dream (but confused because I'm there, and they are there and we don't SEEM to be dead.) Nothing useful to report out of this unless I'm practicing and I'm scheduled to die - in which case no one will probably know because my husband does not know who I talk to in cyberspace....If I STOP TALKING assume the worst.

[paulette]

I didn't mean to sound like I EXPECT to die soon. But on another level - humans live as if they don't expect to die. Much less soon. To the Buddhists and Hindus and what I know of the first nations - death is just part of the life experience. We WASPs carry on, buying houses with 30 year mortgages and amassing more and more stuff - and unlike King Tut we don't believe we can take it with us! I am walking around in the house of the dead or maybe browsing in the Akashic library these nights. It's like a new lick on the guitar - I have to keep hearing it, checking it out. This isn't unreasonable research, given that I'm 62. I'm not in any hurry to go however! I think I'm more content than I've been in my whole life because I have a loving partner who is willing to accept me as is and provide for me. I just saw a picture of myself at 22 - now I can say I was really good looking, smart, and buff (I rode my bicycle for miles every day to get around). If you had asked me then (and I remember the night the picture was taken) I felt like a failure in that after going to university I couldn't figure out what to do next to earn money and then took a practical nursing course and had just graduated from that (occasion for photo). But I SHOULD HAVE BEEN (toxic words) a teacher or whatever. The Dx of ADD had not been formally written up yet - it explains my wide-ranging but unfocused and impractical mental processes. I saw a show last night and they said there are about 4 genetic markers all involved in dopamine (brain chemistry) processes. I then realized that it wasn't anything to do with anything except my shake of the genetic dice. PS. My Mom was, my cousin was/is my daughter - formally diagnosed, my last husband yup. His two kids by a previous marriage yup yup. Life is a dream these days because I know I'm doing what I can and my husband knows my inconsistencies and laughs .

[Morgan Sierra]

I think you are doing just fine, Paulette, and I hope you will continue doing so for a long time.

And just for the record if anybody does decide to kick the bucket and depart for the Great Beyond make sure you come back as a ghost or something and let us know what happened. I would hate for one of our members to suddenly disappear and never know what happened.

[Deleted]

Ditto skywalker.

Paulette, I think you're doing great. Sixty two? You're about my dad's and Lois's age too. Cool.

My brother-in-law has ADD. They thought I had it too but decided not to diagnose me with it. Lots of doctors have said I have tendencies for Obsessive Compulsive stuff too but they say I'm not severe enough to be diagnosed with anything. I'm just eccentric I suppose.

In my mind, ADD can be broken down simply. You get bored easily. I do get bored easily, but I always find some way to entertain myself and keep focused on what needs to be done by thinking about the situation creatively... for example when playing the piano I make up a story to go along with the notes to keep it interesting.

[paulette]

Another dream - February 18th. I was in a coastal town and there was a hurricane coming. I wanted to go to the beach and the pier to watch the huge waves build before I had to leave. As I dallied and didn't quite get organized to go and suddenly everyone else was gone and I said, "I should go too!" There was one person left with me - a person that in the real world I loved dearly as a young woman. In the dream he was old! (and I was old too). He said calmly, (and he would have said this calmly in real life), "It's too late Paulette. The waters are rising. There's nowhere to go. I'll stay with you though.

And sure enough, water was swirling up the street and pushing under the flimsy house we were in.

More flood dreams. I guess I'm getting ready.

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2011 20:29:44 GMT -6 paulette said:

More flood dreams. I guess I'm getting ready.

Getting ready for what?

[paulette]

Yes. That is the question.

[skywalker]

Getting ready to find out the answer...sooner or later. Maybe.

[Deleted]

When we did our experiment on 'the other forum' (the joining minds at the same time thing) A LOT of us saw very big waves..well huge ones actually or big walls of water. We saw circles upon circles that we narrowed down to the Hadron Collider when we saw pictures of it..long corridors with rooms and doors and long tubes, sometimes planets and ships but the water was a recurring theme.

[paulette]

Maybe some more "mind joining" exercises would be fun. Or interesting. Maybe even other emotions that I won't mention so as to make them more likely....

[Deleted]

In pagan texts (I studied Wicca for awhile in high school) water is often equated to psychic phenomena... as well as maternal instinct, tranquility, peace, and the mind itself. Perhaps this is the reason for the recurring water theme?

~shrug~

[Deleted]

Takes a little organization Paulette but it was interesting to see how much we all seemed to connect. Skywalker did it with us and felt some amazing energy (if I remember correctly). The last time I think we had over ten people. Maybe others here would be interested

[paulette]

I just hit something and my whole wordy post disappeared and I was off the Internet. Wow!

I'll try to be more succinct. I would appreciate another experiment of group mind but someone else has to figure out the time zone synchronization.

I had another urgent dream this am. I was attending something like a presentation in a large auditorium and suddenly there were men with guns surrounding the building (I'm getting better detail the second writing). We all got up and quickly tried to leave - but not as a group which could be targeted. I felt like we (the participants) were the targets for some reason.

I made my way through what appeared to be an third world market with textiles and stalls and even a back room of hanging carcasses of meat. The people there were unaware of what was going on and puzzled why people wanted to use their back exits.

Eventually we all individually arrived as far as we could go - an older section of town that faced a large body of water that looked like a sea and had breakwaters and sidewalks against it. I was in a small abandoned house hunkered down. Soldiers were going through everywhere there was to go and finding people. I knew eventually they would find me.

The overall feeling was not terror or any strong emotion but rather, "Well, its finally happening."

I realize that this could be inspired by the news coverage of the Middle East unrest and crowd scenes. However in my dream there was no shooting no yelling. Its more like the people in the auditorium knew something and were being hunted down by government forces and taken somewhere.

I just had a flash of conspiracy theory. Might as well put it out here. What if....Mufon is now being mined for sources of anyone who has had ET experience because the government wants to use those people - for information, for contact (most of us haven't gone crazy or dropped dead) or to get a profile of some sort. When I typed auditorium in my mind I saw a large domed building that we all entered. (Chills here). I think you get my drift....

[Deleted]

Spooky... definitely spooky.

A large domed building? Sounds like those domes in the corn field of the X-Files movie... the ones that had all the bees in them...

[Deleted]

I don't think anyone within MUFON has that kind of ambition but I'm reasonably certain that with 'capture' programs anything any of us have said in regards to encounters or abductions (anywhere on the net) has been in government hands from the beginning. What is to be gained from it that they do not already know? There are teams of FBI that do nothing but monitor the net..and I don't see that as conspiracy but security. A lot of 'bad' plots have been hatched and discussed in cyber space. I have noticed that Hollywood is capitalizing on the 2012 angst. Every other movie seems to have interesting themes..cowboys and aliens, Paul, the adjustment bureau, monsters, skyline, i am number 4, battle Los Angeles, the thing, the darkest hour, super 8, iron sky, battleship, men in black. I think there is a lot more interest in the unusual right now.
I hope you have a dream journal going Paulette..I'd have one but I've nothing worthy to put in one LOL. If your dream feelings aren't anxiety or panic I don't think I'd be worried. The domes might be a place of 'safety' after some disaster even. People were sent to the indoor football fields (domes) during the hurricanes (and our local fires).

[paulette]

Just did some cyber surfing to look at what the beaches look like in Libya - in Tripoli they are all breakwatered. Like my dream.

There are some uninhabited searches of beautiful beach (it borders the Mediterranean, opposite Crete). Hardly anyone goes in the water (certainly women don't) and there are no surfers and there are few tourists. Looking at the interface of city and water - concrete. Just like my dream.

[lois]

I do not know about the dome buildings. someone fill me in Please. I dream but don't remember them.. On waking I will know if it was a terrified dream is about all. Once in awhile I will remember but not enough to record them.. Now the quakes I always remember..

Paulette........I suspect the govenment does tap into everything on the net.. I sure would not want to get myself involved in such a search for witnesses. I did dream many years ago of the military breaking into my son's home with rifles searching every inch of it, but what they were searching for I have no idea..

Let me know about the domes..

[skywalker]

Feb 20, 2011 12:32:13 GMT -6 paulette said:

I just hit something and my whole wordy post disappeared and I was off the Internet. Wow!

I'll try to be more succinct. I would appreciate another experiment of group mind but someone else has to figure out the time zone synchronization.

I had another urgent dream this am. I was attending something like a presentation in a large auditorium and suddenly there were men with guns surrounding the building (I'm getting better detail the second writing). We all got up and quickly tried to leave - but not as a group which could be targeted. I felt like we (the participants) were the targets for some reason.

I made my way through what appeared to be an third world market with textiles and stalls and even a back room of hanging carcasses of meat. The people there were unaware of what was going on and puzzled why people wanted to use their back exits.

Eventually we all individually arrived as far as we could go - an older section of town that faced a large body of water that looked like a sea and had breakwaters and sidewalks against it. I was in a small abandoned house hunkered down. Soldiers were going through everywhere there was to go and finding people. I knew eventually they would find me.

The overall feeling was not terror or any strong emotion but rather, "Well, its finally happening."

I realize that this could be inspired by the news coverage of the Middle East unrest and crowd scenes. However in my dream there was no shooting no yelling. Its more like the people in the auditorium knew something and were being hunted down by government forces and taken somewhere.

I just had a flash of conspiracy theory. Might as well put it out here. What if....Mufon is now being mined for sources of anyone who has had ET experience because the government wants to use those people - for information, for contact (most of us haven't gone crazy or dropped dead) or to get a profile of some sort. When I typed auditorium in my mind I saw a large domed building that we all entered. (Chills here). I think you get my drift....

Hi, Paulette.

I just noticed something about this dream that you had. it is very similar to several of the dreams that I have had recently.

I was attending something like a presentation in a large auditorium and suddenly there were men with guns surrounding the building (I'm getting better detail the second writing). We all got up and quickly tried to leave - but not as a group which could be targeted. I felt like we (the participants) were the targets for some reason.

This sounds very similar to the dream I had where I was in the farm house and the men with guns showed up and started shooting everybody and I ran out the back door and tried to hide out in the woods.

I made my way through what appeared to be an third world market with textiles and stalls and even a back room of hanging carcasses of meat.

This is kind of like the dream I had about Stiver and JJ. I didn't describe what happened in that dream but it took place in a large supermarket, similar to what you would find in a third world country, and there was a freezer full of meat in the back that I fell into after Jj and I collided with one another.

Eventually we all individually arrived as far as we could go - an older section of town that faced a large body of water that looked like a sea and had breakwaters and sidewalks against it. I was in a small abandoned house hunkered down. Soldiers were going through everywhere there was to go and finding people. I knew eventually they would find me.

This sounds very similar to the dream I had where I, and a group of other people, were hiding out while the plane and soldiers were looking for us. Then that spy dude came along and revealed our location and I knew that they would find us. I had pretty much the same feeling that you had...like it was just a matter of time.

I am not sure what all of this means, but it's got to mean something. Maybe they are warnings of things to come...or maybe we are both running from something. I don't know.

If you start dreaming about man-eating ping-pong balls I'm heading for the hills.

(another coincidence...I also just hit the wrong button and accidentally deleted my entire post...)

[lois]

Sky, I did that the other night, deleted my long post. I can't even tell you how it happen I went to hit post reply and my right hand hit some key to the right. It was gone.

Lois